IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people think it is better for people to change their career at least once in their life and do different kinds of jobs. Do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Opinions differ from person to person
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 there are many who think that changing
career
Fix the agreement mistake
careers
show examples
 once in a lifetime is a better option than hanging onto
one
Use synonyms
. I firmly disagree with
this
Linking Words
 opinion
as
Punctuation problem
, as
show examples
 it is a choice we make in our early youthful
years
Use synonyms
 and aim to strive towards it.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, we evaluate our career choices
while
Linking Words
 we are doing our secondary education.
In other words
Linking Words
, our bachelor studies are based
upon
Change preposition
on
show examples
 our future goals we aim to pursue and see ourselves acquiring a certain position in
upcoming
Correct article usage
the upcoming
show examples
years
Use synonyms
.
Moreover
Linking Words
, some people
also
Linking Words
 enrol in courses which will enhance their abilities and skills for their aspiring
jobs
Use synonyms
.
For example
Linking Words
, computer engineers have to study
Correct article usage
a bachelors
show examples
bachelors
Check wording
bachelor's
show examples
 of computer science in order to gain a
job
Use synonyms
 in
Information
Correct article usage
the Information
show examples
 technology sector.
Similarly
Linking Words
, a doctor will require a degree to practice. Clearly, it takes
years
Use synonyms
 to get
skilful
Correct word choice
skilled
show examples
 and indefinite efforts to attain knowledge in a specific domain.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, taking up different kinds of
jobs
Use synonyms
 will not be beneficial in
long
Correct article usage
the long
show examples
 run. There is a well-known adage which goes as “Jack of all and master of none”,
it
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 defines that if anyone attempts to learn everything might not ace even a single thing.
Additionally
Linking Words
,
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
years
Use synonyms
 of experience at
one
Use synonyms
job
Use synonyms
 will help an individual to learn a lot more than switching to different
jobs
Use synonyms
 and learning
one
Use synonyms
 skill with each
job
Use synonyms
. In conclusion, mastering
at
Change preposition
apply
show examples
one
Use synonyms
job
Use synonyms
 with many skills is thought-provoking and brings a sense of confidence in an individual.
Therefore
Linking Words
, I strongly believe
this
Linking Words
 notion of sticking to
one
Use synonyms
job
Use synonyms
 rather than switching to
do
Verb problem
apply
show examples
different
jobs
Use synonyms
 and exhausting resources and valuable time.

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structure
Make a clear plan for your view. Put one main idea in each paragraph and link it to the next.
grammar
Use shorter, plain sentences. Check long lines that are hard to read.
content
Give stronger, simple examples that fit your view, e.g., why one job is better or why freedom to move is not good.
lexical
Fix common word mistakes. Use the right form for phrases like 'Jack of all trades, master of none'.
vocabulary
Keep to easy words and common phrases so your meaning is clear.
content
A clear view at the start.
structure
Good layout with intro, body, and conclusion.
idea
Reasoning shows you plan to stay in one job in youth.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • career
  • job
  • work
  • change
  • switch
  • learn
  • skill
  • grow
  • new
  • different
  • plan
  • decision
  • choice
  • market
  • demand
  • money
  • salary
  • stability
  • risk
  • time
  • effort
  • future
  • success
  • boredom
  • motivation
  • job satisfaction
  • experience
  • prepare
  • advice
What to do next:
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