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Band 5

Some people believe zoos, where wild animals are kept in a man-made environment, should no longer exist in the twenty century. Do you agree or disagree?

#people #zoos #animals #environment #twenty #century
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Zoos have been a part of our human history;
however
Linking Words
, lots of people opine that wild animals and pets should not k
ept
Suggestion
keep
in c
age.
Suggestion
a cage
 In my perspective, zoological gardens have enormous benefits in societies.
To begin
Linking Words
, zoos have c
onsiderable role
Suggestion
a considerable role
in e
ducation
Suggestion
educating
educate
educates
children and families about different type of animals who could not see them in w
ild life
all living things (except people) that are undomesticated
wildlife
such
Linking Words
 as carnivores and predator animals. In education, zoos offer some type of animals to schools to make p
resentation.
Suggestion
presentations
a presentation
the presentation
For instance
Linking Words
, Giza Zoo receives every Sunday three thousand students from different provinces to gain their knowledge about animals.
Hence
Linking Words
, zoos give opportunities to everyone to see and learn about animals share the planet.
In addition
Linking Words
, there are many animals approached to e
xtinct
Suggestion
extinction
because of several reasons. D
eforestation which
Accept comma addition
Deforestation, which
force animals to e
migrant
Suggestion
emigrate
emigrated
to a
nother
not the same one or ones already mentioned or implied
other
places, that they cannot live because of weather.
Moreover
Linking Words
, hunters who catch rare animals to extract organs
such
Linking Words
 as fur or ivory; f
ore
appropriate to; intended for
for
example, the people of Ivory Coast greatly contributed to the extinction of e
lephant.
Suggestion
elephants
the elephant
an elephant
Thus
Linking Words
, zoos consider a safer place for animals from abolished. To conclude, e
arly decades
Suggestion
the early decades
of the
last
Linking Words
 century zoos stand as s
afe place
Suggestion
a safe place
for rare and pet animals.
Additionally
Linking Words
, it has been a place for families and children to learn them something new about these c
reature
Suggestion
creatures
that they could not see on television
Submitted by ib.skyfall on

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • endangered species
  • conservation efforts
  • biodiversity
  • poaching
  • habitat loss
  • breeding programs
  • educational tools
  • rehabilitation
  • veterinary care
  • confined spaces
  • natural habitats
  • wildlife sanctuaries
  • ethical considerations
  • tourists attraction
  • economic impact
What to do next:
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