Some people believe zoos, where wild animals are kept in a man-made environment, should no longer exist in the twenty century. Do you agree or disagree?

#people #zoos #animals #environment #twenty #century

Zoos have been a part of our human history;

however

, lots of people opine that wild animals and pets should not k

ept

Suggestion

keep

in c

age.

Suggestion

a cage

In my perspective, zoological gardens have enormous benefits in societies.

To begin

, zoos have c

onsiderable role

Suggestion

a considerable role

in e

ducation

Suggestion

educating

educate

educates

children and families about different type of animals who could not see them in w

ild life

all living things (except people) that are undomesticated

wildlife

such

as carnivores and predator animals. In education, zoos offer some type of animals to schools to make p

resentation.

Suggestion

presentations

a presentation

the presentation

For instance

, Giza Zoo receives every Sunday three thousand students from different provinces to gain their knowledge about animals.

Hence

, zoos give opportunities to everyone to see and learn about animals share the planet.

In addition

, there are many animals approached to e

xtinct

Suggestion

extinction

because of several reasons. D

eforestation which

Accept comma addition

Deforestation, which

force animals to e

migrant

Suggestion

emigrate

emigrated

to a

nother

not the same one or ones already mentioned or implied

other

places, that they cannot live because of weather.

Moreover

, hunters who catch rare animals to extract organs

such

as fur or ivory; f

ore

appropriate to; intended for

for

example, the people of Ivory Coast greatly contributed to the extinction of e

lephant.

Suggestion

elephants

the elephant

an elephant

Thus

, zoos consider a safer place for animals from abolished. To conclude, e

arly decades

Suggestion

the early decades

of the

last

century zoos stand as s

afe place

Suggestion

a safe place

for rare and pet animals.

Additionally

, it has been a place for families and children to learn them something new about these c

reature

Suggestion

creatures

that they could not see on television

Submitted by ib.skyfall on Thu Jan 23 2020

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

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‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
15Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

221 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

endangered species
conservation efforts
biodiversity
poaching
habitat loss
breeding programs
educational tools
rehabilitation
veterinary care
confined spaces
natural habitats
wildlife sanctuaries
ethical considerations
tourists attraction
economic impact

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Some people believe zoos, where wild animals are kept in a man-made environment, should no longer exist in the twenty century. Do you agree or disagree?

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

in some countries, the role of a mother differs in some ways from the role of a father. Why do you think these differences exist? How might parental roles develop in the future?

You have bought a new camera but when you got it home you found it had some problems.You returned the camera and spoke the companyrepresentative a week ago but the camera has still not been repaired.Intoduce myself,Explain the situation,Say what action you would like the company to take.

many chilren are encouraged by their parent to get a part time job. what are the advantages and disadvantages to children doing so?

Nowadays, experience is more valued in the workplace than knowledge in many countries. Do you think the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your knowledge or experience.