Nowadays technology is increasingly being used to monitor what people are saying and doing (for example through cellphone tracking and security cameras). In many cases, the people are being monitored are unaware that this is happening. Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

#technology #people #cellphone #security #cameras #cases #development

In the modern world, technology has brought many changes in our society. With being monitored through

security

cameras or cell phones, some people believe that it has negative effects on our society.

However

, many people believe there are a lot more positive effects on people’s lives,

such

as strong

security

and saving lives. In

this

essay, I will discuss the advantages and disadvantages and give my opinion at the end. One of the huge advantages about being monitored is

security

. Since governments set many

security

cameras in public places, the crimes are becoming lower than they used to be. Increasing

security

cameras demonstrates a measure that banks can

take to prevent to

Suggestion

take to prevent

being robbed. In

return

Accept comma addition

return, this

this

can protect many people financially, especially those less fortunate.

As a result

, being monitored will help to increase a stable life. The

second

benefit to being monitored is saving lives. For people who may have a serious illness, It is possible for them to become incapacitated in public places.

Security

monitors can potentially inform authorities, lowering the time before emergency services arrive.

Thus

decreasing casualty rates.

On the other hand

, being monitored has a deleterious effect on society. When people are on their phones in public places, it is possible for them to be hacked, leaking personal information

such

as a bank account number.

For example

, hackers may use a bank account number to manipulate the owner. Governments should take

this

into consideration to prevent citizens personal information from being exposed to the world. In conclusion,

this

essay has shown the benefits and drawbacks. I believe that being monitored can help people in many positive ways.

Thus

, people should realize that

security

cameras and cell phones can enhance safety and improve their way of life.

Submitted by kamilahshipton on Mon Jan 27 2020

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

292 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Some people advocate death penalty for those who committed violent crimes. Others say that capital punishment is unacceptable in contemporary society. Describe advantages and disadvantages of death penalty.

Economic progress is often used to measure a country’s success. However, some people believe that other factors are more important. What other factors should also be considered when measuring a country’s success? Which one do you think is the most important?

Some people believe that serious environmental problems can be solved by technological inventions and developments. Others think otherwise, saying that consuming less and having a simpler lifestyle is the way to go. Discuss and give your opinion.[386]

Nowadays people use bicycles less as a form of transport. Why is this the case? What can we do to encourage people to use bicycles more?

In the past, buildings often reflected the culture of a society but today all modern buildings look alike and cities throughout the world are becoming more and more similar. What do you think is the reason for this, and is it a good thing or a bad thing?