Some people say history is one of the most important school subjects. Other people think in today’s world, subjects like science and technology are more important than history. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

The dramatic changes in the educational system throughout the world have gained momentum over the
last
decades. Some people reckon that S.T.E.M. subjects must prevail in the modern education system and should supersede the obsolete ones, like
history
. There are several points of view on the topic.
This
essay will shed some light on the issue and provide several examples for each point of view
as well as
the author's opinion. On the one hand, science and technology classes at schools may help offspring
to
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get a better education and excel in our fast-paced and ever-changing world.
For instance
, the open statistical data in the U.S. shows us a strong link between wards' time investment into the S.T.E.M. disciplines at school and the number of zeros in their paychecks after graduation.
As a result
, focusing on
such
topics could be extremely beneficial for children's future careers and lives.
On the other hand
, as we all know,
history
tends to replicate itself. And without a proper understanding of
such
principles, society risks creating a heartless and dangerous generation of kids.
For example
,
according to
a study conducted at the University of North Carolina, there is a 0.87 correlation between the number of alternative political affiliations as communist and even Nationalistic in observed countries and the number of
history
studying hours at local schools.
Thus
, individuals who invest more time into studying
past
Correct article usage
the past
show examples
are less likely to become a part of hazardous political groups and subvert their own future.
To sum up
,
the
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apply
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focusing on specific disciplines during the educational process leads to
the
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apply
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different results. From my point of view, parents and the contemporary education system must find a happy medium between the two extremes and help children to reach a balance in their schedules. It is recommended to support as
history
Correct word choice
many history
show examples
classes as S.T.E.M. ones.
Submitted by 8453525 on

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Introduction
Expand on the introduction by providing a clearer thesis statement that directly states your opinion, in addition to discussing both views.
Coherence
Enhance coherence by using a wider range of linking words and phrases to better connect ideas and paragraphs.
Cohesion
Improve cohesion by clearly distinguishing your paragraphs. One way to do this is by starting a new paragraph for each main idea or argument.
Task Achievement
Try to provide more balanced coverage and analysis of both viewpoints before stating your conclusion, to fully address the essay prompt.
Conclusion
In the conclusion, restate your opinion more clearly, reflecting back on the arguments presented in the essay, for a stronger finish.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Cultural heritage
  • Historical perspective
  • Analytical skills
  • Contextual understanding
  • Technological advancements
  • STEM (Science, Technology, Engineering, Mathematics)
  • Innovation
  • Interdisciplinary
  • Job market
  • Climate crisis
  • Cultural identity
  • Critical thinking
  • Humanities
  • Contemporary issues
  • Integration
  • Tech-savvy
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