IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Space tourism is only the privilege of the rich, and it should be totally got rid of. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

While
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space
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 journey currently remains accessible only to the affluent, I disagree with the notion that it should be eliminated entirely.
Instead
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,
this
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 nascent industry deserves support as a catalyst for technological advancement and eventual democratisation of
space
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 travel. Admittedly, the exorbitant costs of
space
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 tourism—with tickets reaching hundreds of thousands of dollars—create legitimate concerns about inequality. Critics rightfully point out that these resources could address pressing terrestrial challenges like poverty and climate change.
However
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, prohibiting
space
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 exploration would be counterproductive. Throughout history, revolutionary technologies have
initially
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 served elite markets before becoming universally accessible. Commercial aviation followed
this
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 trajectory, transforming from a luxury for the wealthy in the 1920s to today's democratized transport system.
Similarly
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,
space
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 tourism's current exclusivity represents a necessary developmental phase rather than a permanent state.
Moreover
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,
space
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 traversing generates substantial benefits that extend beyond its immediate participants. The industry drives innovation in propulsion systems, life support technologies, and materials science—advancements with terrestrial applications in medicine, communications, and environmental monitoring. Private
space
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 companies, funded partly through passing revenue, have dramatically reduced launch costs and accelerated technological progress that would have taken government agencies decades to achieve.
Furthermore
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, the "overview effect" experienced by
space
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 tourists—a profound shift in environmental consciousness upon viewing Earth from
space
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—has prompted several wealthy participants to become significant philanthropists for environmental causes. Rather than elimination,
space
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 travel requires regulation to ensure safety standards and minimise environmental impact
while
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 allowing the industry to mature. As competition intensifies and technology advances, costs will inevitably decrease, gradually expanding access. The solution lies not in denying humanity's expansion beyond Earth but in thoughtfully managing
this
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 transition to ensure eventual inclusivity. In conclusion,
while
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space
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 tourism's current exclusivity raises valid concerns, abolishing it would stifle innovation and delay humanity's inevitable expansion into
space
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. The focus should be on responsible development that accelerates the technology's maturation and eventual accessibility to all.

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task achievement
Try to use simpler words and short sentences to explain your ideas more clearly.
coherence cohesion
Make sure each paragraph clearly supports your main idea, with a little more development in some arguments.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a strong introduction and conclusion that clearly outline your position.
task achievement
You provide good examples from history that show how technology can become more accessible over time.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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