It is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages?

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Nowadays, some people believe taking
risks
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are excellent choice in their professional and personal lives. In my view, I disagree with
this
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opinion because I think the disadvantages of
adventure
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outweigh its merits. Granted, I cannot deny taking
risks
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may bring several benefits to individuals. From a professional perspective, it is possible to obtain a higher job if employees want to do some risky things, which means they can earn more salaries than ever before.
For example
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, many employees choose to change jobs when they have joined a company over seven years, which is an
adventure
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, but the rewards are huge if they are successful. From a personal level, ventures can give people chances to achieve their personal goals.
This
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is mainly because achieving a dream needs individuals who are not afraid of difficulties and have the courage to try.
However
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, reaching the above conclusion does not necessarily mean that the drawbacks of taking
risks
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can be ignored. For one thing, it is dangerous for the public to neglect the potential jeopardy of making risky decisions.
This
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is predominately because all uncertain things have the possibility of failure, which means you may lose all you have had
instead
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of obtaining opportunities. Take the stock market,
for instance
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, many investors choose to invest more capital into
this
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market when it is prosperous, but only a small number of people can get their money back. For another thing, it is difficult for normal citizens to make a clear plan of
adventure
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. The main reason is that we can only acquire limited information which is not enough to assist us with getting the big picture. To summarize,
although
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taking
risks
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may bring some benefits to us, I still argue that the drawbacks of
adventure
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exceed its advantages considering its potential hazards.
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Coherence and Cohesion
Emphasize a wider range of cohesive devices to enhance the flow of ideas.
Coherence and Cohesion
Work on the logical sequencing of sentences and paragraphs for better readability.
Coherence and Cohesion
Provide more depths to main points with detailed and relevant examples to strengthen the argument.
Task Response
Ensure the introduction clearly addresses the prompt and that the conclusion effectively summarizes the main points.
Task Response
Develop ideas fully to address all parts of the task.
Task Response
Include more specific and varied examples to illustrate points and enhance the persuasive quality of the essay.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Opportunities
  • Growth
  • Innovation
  • Challenges
  • Self-discovery
  • Resilience
  • Uncertainty
  • Consequences
  • Calculated risks
  • Stagnation
  • Regret
  • Comfort zone
  • Entrepreneurship
  • Adventurous spirit
  • Thriving
  • Failure
  • Mitigate
  • Reap the rewards
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