IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

People today generally have better lives than people in the past did. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

It is undeniable that the span of life is changing day by day and year by year.
Although
Linking Words
 some
people
Use synonyms
 still believe that
past
Correct article usage
the past
show examples
 days
are
Wrong verb form
were
show examples
 better, I would argue that the technological advancements and the development of countries are essential factors in making their lives better.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, one of the most critical factors for seeking better lives is technology. The reason behind
this
Linking Words
 is that it has a significant role in making life faster and more convenient than ever before.
For instance
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 have not been able to send a letter within a couple of seconds as emails do, and they have to wait weeks and sometimes months until it
received
Verb problem
is received
show examples
.
In contrast
Linking Words
, if
this
Linking Words
 letter included critical information
was
Correct pronoun usage
that was
show examples
 delayed or even lost,
people
Use synonyms
 would get lost and frustrated as well.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, nowadays, the development of countries is essential to obtain a decent lifestyle. Developed countries around the globe always have plans, whether for education, health, transportation
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 their aim
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 to see their citizens live
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
an appropriate life. To illustrate, the Canadian Government had recently established a new way for harvesting crops. Farmers in Canada are suffering from the bad weather almost all
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
year that
make
Correct subject-verb agreement
makes
show examples
 it impossible for them to grow up, and
by
Change preposition
in
show examples
this
Linking Words
 way, the government is still searching for possible ways to make it easier for
their
Fix the agreement mistake
its
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 to live.
In contrast
Linking Words
, if
this
Linking Words
 has not happened by the
Canadian’s
Check wording
Canadian
show examples
 authorities,
people
Use synonyms
 would struggle
in growing
Change preposition
to grow
show examples
 their crops.
To conclude
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 is my view that technology and development are vital factors for making
people
Use synonyms
 live in a decent way.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Be clear about how much you agree at the start. Say your view in the first or second sentence.
task response
Use reasons that fit the question. Give more facts or small facts to back each idea.
coherence
Link your ideas with simple words like 'also', 'but', 'for example' to guide the reader.
coherence
Check grammar in long sentences. Some errors make the idea hard to see.
task response
The writer shows a clear view on the topic.
coherence
Two ideas are used to explain the view.
task response
There is a closing line that sums up.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Familiarity
  • Comfort
  • Social ties
  • Family ties
  • Belonging
  • Resources
  • Opportunities
  • Fear
  • Unknown
  • Financial constraints
  • Cultural attachment
  • Language barriers
  • Limited education
  • Skills
What to do next:
Look at other essays: