IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Nowadays people get married and have kids in their thirties rather than when they are younger. Do you agree or disagree that this trend will benefit society?

#people #kids #thirties #trend #benefit #society
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Family, as the most important social construct in most societies, has always been the topic of many discussions the world over. Marriage and bringing up offspring, which are the grounds of creating a family, as a result, have been heavily argued. There's a fast-growing trend in which people start families at the
age
Use synonyms
 of thirty or higher, which is
in contrast
Linking Words
 to
last
Linking Words
 decades in which they married under thirty.
Although
Linking Words
 matrimony in younger ages could result in a less
age
Use synonyms
 gap between generations, its drawbacks are many. In
this
Linking Words
 essay we elaborate the reasons why thirties is the more rational choice.
Firstly
Linking Words
, any household needs a strong enough financial stability. Most people do not start working until after their tertiary education is finished.
Thus
Linking Words
, they would not be able to thoroughly support their family.
For example
Linking Words
, lacking proper and stable source of income, no one would be able to handle rent, groceries, and etc. The poverty hurting the family may result in poor health and malnutrition. The situation escalates when there is a newborn and child care should be considered too.
Moreover
Linking Words
, insolvency would impose a significant psychological stress on both the parents and children.
Secondly
Linking Words
, the level of emotional maturity is an extremely significant factor in a healthy family. A
vicenarian
Suggestion
 may be developed enough in terms of emotional and psychological capability to govern a family. Elder people could thrive under
strainful
extremely irritating to the nerves
stressful
 events which may happen in a marriage.
This
Linking Words
matureness
the quality of being natural or based on natural principles
naturalness
 would benefit the individual, their counterpart and
also
Linking Words
 their children.
For instance
Linking Words
, more meaningful and faithful relationship is more widely found in older people. More mature people could
also
Linking Words
 connect better with their kids, provide emotional support or give sound advice, which enables them to raise healthier and more satisfied children. By the way of conclusion, marriage and having children are tasks in which people should be highly cautious. The
age
Use synonyms
 of marriage is of utmost importance and so is the time to have kids. Some people believe that starting a family in twenties eliminates the
age
Use synonyms
 difference between parents and their babies to the minimum,
therefore
Linking Words
 is it the best choice. But in
this
Linking Words
 essay, we discussed the importance of financial and emotional stability, and how it affects people's relationships.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • financial stability
  • emotional maturity
  • secure upbringing
  • career prospects
  • education and career development
  • lifetime earnings
  • job satisfaction
  • health outcomes
  • demographic shift
  • population growth
  • ageing population
  • parental preparedness
  • responsibilities of parenting
  • modern healthcare
  • capable of having healthy pregnancies
  • balancing population growth
  • establish careers
  • save money
  • healthier relationships
  • better parenting
What to do next:
Look at other essays: