IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

The Internet has caused people to be isolated from their real lives. Do you agree or disagree?

#internet #people #lives
It is generally believed by many people that the Internet is the root of people’s seclusion from their society. From my perspective,
this
 idea is completely flawed owing to the benefits in terms of communication and knowledge acquisition that the internet offers.
Firstly
, I would argue that the internet is one of the most powerful facilitators in communication. At the moment, numerous websites
such
 as Facebook or Yahoo offer much faster and more convenient services for users to keep in touch with their friends and relatives regardless of geographic distance. These
websites create
Accept comma addition
websites, create
 an online
network which
Accept comma addition
network, which
 connects everyone within their users’ social circle and enables them to send instant messages or to make video calls in a few seconds no matter where they are. People,
therefore
, can enjoy both the convenience and the swiftness that those services provide.
Secondly
, I believe the Internet has empowered people to acquire more knowledge about their society than ever before.
In addition
, it is able to bring every aspect of life to people, which is valuable because people will have a closer look at how their community really is. Latest news about sports, education or criminals for
example is
Accept comma addition
example, is
 updated constantly in many online sources that are open to everyone.
This
 easy accessibility equips people with sufficient information, in other words, they are more aware of the problems lying within their society. In conclusion, as the two
analyzed
examined carefully and methodically; broken down for consideration of constituent parts
analysed
 reasons above, I strongly disagree with the idea that Internet users are drifting away from their lives because of the online service.
Submitted by diannela9 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: