Some people think that all teenagers should be required to do unpaid work in their free time to help the local community. They believe this would benefit both the individual teenager and society as a whole. Do you agree or disagree?
Nowadays, it is true that most people think that young people should do unpaid
work
to help different communities and to learn more about society
in their free time. This
essay totally agrees with the idea that teenagers
need to do this
type of work
in their free time,
and that it will benefit everyone, and Remove the comma
apply
moreover
, a good way to learn about society
.
Young part of the population needs to be confronted with our society
. Also
, they must have the opportunity to try, to have experience in work
life. Besides
, it can encourage young citizens to learn how to comport themself, with these practices. For example
, a study conducted by the University of London has shown that most young citizens are more able to work
after
this
experience than persons who have not done it.
This
opportunity can give rise to meet, and ask some questions to people that are used to working in a company, in a certain department. So, it can prepare teenagers
for this
type of experience in their free time. then
to have an idea of this
type of life. For instance
, recently my uncle who is the CEO of an important company, made the decision to give some teenagers
the opportunity to discover this
world of work
and it has been really helpful for them and for this
community.
To conclude
, teenagers
should definitely do unpaid work
when they are not at school, to discover more about this
world, and to meet workers. And to help the local community and as a consequence
be helpful to our society
.Submitted by santos_dij on
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coherence cohesion
To strengthen the essay, ensure each paragraph starts with a clear topic sentence that indicates the main idea to the reader. This helps in making your argument more structured and easy to follow.
coherence cohesion
Utilize a wider range of linking words and phrases to connect ideas more smoothly and show relationships between your points. This will enhance the flow and clarity of your essay.
task achievement
In terms of task response, expand on your ideas by providing deeper insights or analysis. This means explaining why unpaid work is beneficial for teenagers and society in a more detailed way, and how it contributes to their personal development.
task achievement
Provide more varied and specific examples to support your main points. While you gave an instance related to a study by the University of London and a personal example, diversifying your sources of examples including statistical data, historical facts, or quotations could strengthen your argument.
Your opinion
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Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
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