IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Increasing the price of petrol is the best way to solve traffic and pollution problems. To what extent do you agree or diagree? What other measures do you think might be effective?

It is indisputable that
traffic
Use synonyms
 significantly affects the environment.
As a result
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, some people believe that increasing its price can tackle these problems.
This
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 essay firmly disagrees with
this
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 perspective, as solving
traffic
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 and pollution issues requires a host of measures rather than making the
fuel
Use synonyms
 expensive. One key reason for
this
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 is that the
fuel
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 price can primarily impact international trade, resulting in an increase in the cost of other products,
such
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 as electronic devices, whose production relies on
fuel
Use synonyms
.
This
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 can lead to an economic disaster that negatively reflects on the world.
Therefore
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, countries have made a global charter to set limitations for
fuel
Use synonyms
 costs, and they
also
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 recommended implementing severe consequences for any violator. Another point to consider is that enhancing the public transportation system can attract individuals to utilize it rather than driving their own cars, and that will lead to reducing adverse emissions.
For instance
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, Harvard Science School has published research stating that cities that utilize public transportation like trains as their main travelling method have lower
traffic
Use synonyms
 congestion compared to others.
This
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 can be an effective solution to reduce the pollution levels caused by
traffic
Use synonyms
. In conclusion, despite people having different viewpoints, I tend to believe that
although
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 setting a high price on
fuel
Use synonyms
 can decrease its use, difficulties in global trade will be caused
due to
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this
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 step.
In addition
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, taking
this
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 measure alone cannot address these issues because they require considering other steps that encourage people to choose an eco-friendly option for transport rather than cars.

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task achievement
Your introduction presents your position well. However, briefly mentioning your main points could make it stronger.
coherence and cohesion
The structure of your essay is mostly clear, but adding transitional phrases could help improve the flow between ideas.
task achievement
Consider providing more specific examples for your arguments. This will help to support your main points more clearly.
coherence and cohesion
Your conclusion summarizes your views effectively, restating the main argument clearly.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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