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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Technology allows food to be produced in greater quantities at lower prices. Some people believe this is a positive development, while others feel that the change is harmful. Discuss both views and give your own opinions.

#technology #food #quantities #prices #people #development #change
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Modern machine makes
food
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 to be made in higher numbers at reduced amounts. Quite a number of persons opine
this
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 as an upside trend,
however
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, some people think that
this
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 development is dangerous. While technological advancement is advantageous for increased production of foods, and causing
deflation
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, it is agreed that utilising modern
technology
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 in the commercialisation of
such
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 production may cause severe health problems in the long-term.
This
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 essay will explore both sides and give a concluding view.
To begin
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 with, the major advantage of using
technology
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 for producing
food
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 commercially is for the purpose of
deflation
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.
This
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 is because machines have higher output and are efficient in the
food
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 manufacturing process, which in turn will cause the prices of
such
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 items to be cheaper and will influence the overall quality of life of the masses positively.
For instance
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, a recent study concluded that building five new government-owned
food
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 manufacturing and processing plants in Germany have caused 30%
deflation
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 in
food
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 prices, which has alleviated poverty and helped to bridge the gap between the rich and the poor in their society.
On the other hand
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, the danger of mass production of
food
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 using modern
technology
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 seems to be health problems. Because the process of
food
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 making with machine involves moving metal parts and the use of preservatives, there seems to be an increased risk of people taking ill to life-threatening sicknesses like cancer.
For example
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, a recent survey concluded that 70% of cancerous patients were sick because they did not eat any reasonable amount of natural foods.
This
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 is problematic because even though the commercially produced foods are cheaper, they are not usually as nutritive as natural raw foods, thereby causing a plethora of people who eat
such
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 foods to be unhealthy with time. In conclusion, while the positive trend of producing foods for commercial purpose with modern
technology
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 is to drive
deflation
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, it is agreed that
such
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 an approach to
food
Use synonyms
 making is perhaps detrimental to the health of people because of the possibility of ingesting unwanted harmful substances and they are usually less-nutritive
in contrast
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 with natural foods.
Submitted by ayodelesam.adebisi on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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