IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 3.5

Nowadays culture is much the same all around the world when compared to previous times. Do you think this a positive or negative development?

#culture #world #times #development
It is true that, nowadays cultural issues ranging from traditional to modern have been integrated considerably compared to the past.
Although
 there are some drawbacks involved in
this
 trend, far-reaching positive results are by no means negligible owing to a number of compelling reasons. On the one hand, effective phenomena would be appeared, if various cultures integrate with each other beyond recognition and permanently. In the other
word it
Accept comma addition
word, it
lay
Suggestion
laid
 the groundwork for
emergence
Suggestion
the emergence
 of invaluable strategy which would be beneficial for human life. Take
globalization which
Accept comma addition
globalization, which
 has a lot benefits as an example. Admittedly, it
make
Suggestion
makes
 a proper opportunity
to
Suggestion
for
 economic prosperity, global healthcare and universal free insurance.
Therefore
Accept comma addition
Therefore, this
this
 in turn will foster human being’s future.
On the other hand
, human knowledge and experience are significantly influenced by
this
 modern event.
indeed
Suggestion
Indeed
, technology
play
Suggestion
plays
essential role
Suggestion
an essential role
 in
this
 trend.
in
Suggestion
In
 the other words, people are encouraged to share their concept of cultures with others
simentaneously
at the same instant
simultaneously
 by
appearance
Suggestion
the appearance
 of new born technological devices. A good illustration of
this
 is social media.
different
Suggestion
Different
 type of softwares
such
 as Telegram,
whatsapp
 and
instagram
 distribute information all around the word.
not
negation of a word or group of words
Not
 only does it expose
students
Suggestion
students'
student
student's
 talent, but it
also lead
Suggestion
also leads
 to expanding their horizon. To conclude, considering the points discussed above, the most rational conclusion to be drawn is that
,
Accept space
,
 nowadays the positive consequence of integrating cultures overweight its negative results.
this
 is mainly because there would be more useful upcoming events involved
Submitted by hassan.ilkhani63 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: