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Band 4.5

Nowadays people get married and have kids in their thirties rather than when they are younger. Do you agree or disagree that this trend will benefit society?

#people #kids #thirties #trend #benefit #society
These days’ marriage after thirties and having kids in these ages is becoming a trend, while many believe it is a frown upon trend, I firmly believe
this
 way of living can lead to a happy
life
 and its benefits outweigh drawbacks. Giving birth at older mothers could leave some unwanted disorder for both mothers and infants. It has been approved, pregnancy in
matures might
Accept comma addition
matures, might
 cause some serious illness and have profound
effects especially
Accept comma addition
effects, especially
on
Suggestion
in
 infants, actually the number of dying infants among older parents
are
Suggestion
is
 drastically more than younger one,
also
 the number of children who have the down syndrome is higher in these
period
Suggestion
periods
 of
life
.
Moreover
,
huge age difference
Suggestion
the huge age difference
 between parents and kids, can be an issue in their upbringing because they maybe fell less like minded, etc. Having appropriate accommodations and occupations, make
an
Suggestion
a
 stable condition for people
at
Suggestion
in
 their thirties.
it
Suggestion
It
 has been proved that, individuals in
this
 ages pass their both social and occupational infancy, so they have job security and are able to cope with the cost of living included bills, rent, etc. And are ready to transition, because marriage and having toddlers, definitely is a milestone in peoples
life
 and appropriate income can be
an
Suggestion
a
 splendid support for every family.
Also people
Accept comma addition
Also, people
 at thirties are mature enough to avoid some silly failures which can easily ruin families and
this
 maturity can lead a happy
life
. In conclusion, I believe making family for people who can afford is the best approach to have a happy
life
, but in my experience people in thirties are more reliable and have more successful marriages.

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • financial stability
  • emotional maturity
  • secure upbringing
  • career prospects
  • education and career development
  • lifetime earnings
  • job satisfaction
  • health outcomes
  • demographic shift
  • population growth
  • ageing population
  • parental preparedness
  • responsibilities of parenting
  • modern healthcare
  • capable of having healthy pregnancies
  • balancing population growth
  • establish careers
  • save money
  • healthier relationships
  • better parenting
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