IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people feel that the design of newly constructed buildings in big cities should be controlled by governments. Others believe those who finance the construction of a building should be free to design it as they see fit. Discus both view?

#people #design #buildings #cities #governments #finance #construction #discus
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Today, in
this
Linking Words
 21st century of modernisation with the development of technologies, we can
also
Linking Words
 see different designs of buildings with shapes. As with the increase in migration of more rural people to urban
city
Use synonyms
, we can
also
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 see the increase in the construction of buildings which is really affecting the
city
Use synonyms
 pollution.
Firstly
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, as per my opinion, I credence that
,
Accept space
,
as cities are already
conjusted
overfull as with blood
congested
 with the buildings, the
design
Use synonyms
 of newly constructed buildings in big cities is better be controlled by
government
Use synonyms
 at certain extent.
For instance
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,
Accept space
,
in the big developing
city
Use synonyms
 like Bangalore
,
Accept space
,
it's already having
huge amount
Suggestion
a huge amount
 of buildings which is not constructed in organise way
,
Accept space
,
but still due to increase in population
,
Accept space
,
people are
continuesly
at every point
continuously
continually
 constructing new buildings. In
such
Linking Words
 case
,
Accept space
,
it's much better if the
government
Use synonyms
control
Suggestion
controls
 the construction by
contructing
Suggestion
Constructing
Contructing
 the buildings in
organize
Suggestion
organizing
 form to prevent the
further
Linking Words
 troubles.
Secondly
Linking Words
,
Accept space
,
as the
buildings
Suggestion
building
building's
design
Use synonyms
 are controlled by
government
Use synonyms
,
Accept space
,
it would be more feasible to search the way and
also
Linking Words
 road will be
at
Suggestion
in
 better condition.
However
Linking Words
,
Accept space
,
in other hand
,
Accept space
,
I believe that those who finance their own construction of
building
Suggestion
the building
buildings
 should be free to
design
Use synonyms
 as they wish without the interference of the
government
Use synonyms
.
Moreover
Linking Words
 we are in democratic
country not
Accept comma addition
country, not
 in
communist country
Suggestion
a communist country
the communist country
communist countries
.
Therefore
Linking Words
, it would be better if the
government
Use synonyms
give
Suggestion
gives
 suggestion to the citizens regarding building designs
,
Accept space
,
but giving us the choice to decide what to do. To conclude, it's a great thought of the
government
Use synonyms
 to make our
city
Use synonyms
 look neat and organise with their
design
Use synonyms
,
Accept space
,
building but every
people
Suggestion
person
 have their own thoughts and choices. At the same time no one will like if the money we are earning with our hard work
are
introduces an alternative
or
 control of
other
any of various alternatives; some other
another
.
Submitted by tnyidon193 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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