IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7.5

Many people have suggested that young adults should undertake a period of unpaid work helping people in their local community. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this?

#people #adults #period #work #community
It is undeniable that youngsters should give assistance to people in their local community and neighbourhood.
Although
 the vast majority of people believe the idea which says that youngsters should accept to work without getting paid, some people would argue that they should not be forced to do something even if it is a good thing. On the one hand, many people believe that teenagers should assist their local community for free. The reason behind
this
 is that they believe
this
 will enhance their sense of humanity, and will keep the environment of their community friendly and calm.
For example
, my uncle lives in a neighbourhood which is full of kindness and generosity, he said that he used to teach his children the true meaning of having good morals when dealing with others, and
thus
 they have learnt why is it vital to deal with others politely even without getting paid.
On the other hand
, some people believe that youngsters should have not done any job without having a salary or payment. The reason with the fact that they believe that teenagers will averse doing something seems to be mandatory for them.
Moreover
, if the teenagers pushed to do something by force, they would perceive it as slavery, and they might be resentment.
For instance
, I worked as a teacher at Anderson High School in Amman, I faced a lot of
such
 incidents during my work, so that I believe that youngsters should have a special care, especially at their age.
In contrast
, if these youngsters do not have
this
 care, they will keep doing the wrong things. To conclude,
although
 it is important to enhance the teenagers’ morals of their ages, it might be quite vital to focus on the way how are they dealing with others.
Submitted by zaid.qassem1991 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: