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Writing Samples /
Band 7

Some people think that global environment problems shold be dralt with internationally. Others, however, believe that they have to be tackled domestically. What is your opinion?

#people #environment #shold #dralt
According to
 some, global environmental
problems
 have to be tackled globally,
while
 others believe that they should be solved domestically. In my opinion, I consider that global environmental issues should be dealt with internationally to avoid the negative influence in the future. The first reason is that global warming affects all
countries
 around the world and needs a joint effort to tackle it.
In other words
, the international conference ought to implement some strict rules which can reduce the causes of global warming.
For example
, the emission of greenhouse gasses must be decreased in all
countries
.
Therefore
, there needs to
share
Wrong verb form
be shared
show examples
 effort from all
countries
 to solve and reduce the danger of
this
 problem. Another point is that tackling environmental
problems
 is a financial burden many
countries
 can not afford on their own. To put it simply, some special devices which are related to the environment are so complicated and they are difficult for poor
countries
 to get them.
Hence
, joining many
countries
 to tackle
this
 problem would provide the ability from the financial side.
Finally
, air pollution and marine pollution affect more than one country at a time. To illustrate, some environmental issues influence a large area of land which includes some nations. So, these affected
countries
 should join together and help each other to solve these
problems
.
To sum up
, to have an obvious positive effect on global environmental
problems
, many
countries
 have to join together to tackle these
problems
.
It
Correct pronoun usage
There
show examples
 would be dire consequences to the Earth if governments did not solve the environmental
problems
.
Submitted by asomm5563 on

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task achievement
Ensure a balanced approach to the discussion of global vs. domestic efforts in addressing environmental issues, reflecting both views before stating a personal opinion.
coherence and cohesion
Include a more diverse range of sentence structures and transitional phrases to enhance readability and flow of ideas.
task achievement
Provide clearer and more specific examples to support the arguments being made, ensuring these examples are directly relevant to the points being discussed.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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