IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

Should government make decisions about people's lifestyle, or should people make their own decisions?

#government #decisions #people #lifestyle
With various
contemprary
characteristic of the present
contemporary
 advancements nowadays, people tend to invest less time on themselves. Albeit, it is a person who can bring about and introduce many changes in their lives towards betterment, but the
governement
the organization that is the governing authority of a political unit
government
 has an equal role to play in making policies and campaign to highlight important issues into
public's attention
Suggestion
the public's attention
. In
this
 essay,
i
refers to the speaker or writer
I
 will discuss both the views.
To begin
 with, the government can bring significant changes in people's life by implementing many action plans and promote awareness campaigns in terms of health and
lifestyle
. Local authorities may encourage for many other
best
Suggestion
good
 reasonable alternatives
such
 as physical
excercises
the activity of exerting your muscles in various ways to keep fit
exercise
 and an awareness
programs
Suggestion
program
 about healthy food and diet.
Furthermore
,
lifestyle
 related health campaigns should be promoted in order to shift people's interest in considering other healthy options. Schools in
Japan
Accept comma addition
Japan, for
for instance
, are funded by food and health authorities to encourage their pupils to participate in various physical activities
such
 as sports and gymnastics, and are taught about the benefits of
healthy
Suggestion
a healthy lifestyle
lifestyle
 and diet.
On the other hand
, individual's own involvement and desire for a better
lifestyle
 is a key factor and a driving force in self-motivation and encouragement. To
substanitiate
establish or strengthen as with new evidence or facts
substantiate
this
, if a person chooses to lead a sedentary
lifestyle
, it becomes harder for them to stay focused and on healthy track. But, if they choose a healthy
lifestyle
, it keeps them determined and dedicated towards their fitness goals. To conclude with, both the government and people should play an active role in choosing, implementing and encouraging many healthier options to bring about major

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

You are not ready for IELTS Speaking, if you

  • Can’t speak smoothly without pauses.
  • Use simple words and lack vocabulary.
  • Feel nervous and anxious when speaking.
What to do next:
Look at other essays:

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!