IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Longer life spans and improvements in the health of older people suggest that people over the age of sixty-five can continue to live full and active lives. In what ways can society benefit from the contribution that older people can make?

#life #improvements #health #people #age #sixty-five #lives #society #benefit #contribution
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In today's world, people have a longer life expectancy than before, especially in western societies.
This
Linking Words
 has been achieved thanks to all the progress that has been made over the years in many sectors, like medicine. The main consequence of
this
Linking Words
 longer life expectation is that the number of older people has considerably grown, but unlike what happened in the past, they can live very active lives. In my view, elderly people represent an important resource for society, especially from a cultural and intellectual point of view. These often are people who lived in difficult times, who experienced some of the great tragedies of the
last
Linking Words
 century like the
Second
Linking Words
 World War and the Holocaust. I believe it's important to listen to them, listen to their stories and
finally
Linking Words
 to learn from them. Like Cicerone said: "Historia Magistra Vitae", history is life's teacher, it should serve as a lesson for the future. We should consider older people who still live today as living history books from whom we can learn how to do better in the future.
Consequently
Linking Words
, it is
also
Linking Words
 important to take care of them and keep them safe and healthy. In
this
Linking Words
 way, we can preserve
this
Linking Words
 important resource for all of us and make them feel appreciated for what they have done in the past and what they represent today. In conclusion, I think that older people represent one of the pillars of our society for what the can still give to us, so it is our duty to take care of them as much as possible.
Submitted by danieleperrone459 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: