Doing an enjoyable activity with a child can develop better skills and more creativity than reading. To what extent do you agree? Use reasons and specific examples to explain your answer. IELTS Essay Sample Answer (1) nhi

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In the modernized era, improving personal skills is a debate topic. Some

people

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agree that participating in an entertainment activity with a kid is crucial to developing useful skills and more creativity than reading. In my opinion, I partly agree with

this

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view. These reasons will be discussed in the following paragraph.

To begin

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, exercise for children helps stimulate intelligence and memory

such

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as through playing a decoding game or solving trivia quizzes. Approaching these exercises frequently can improve our critical thinking abilities. In real life,

people

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even can solve problems that are not complicated.

Secondly

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, playing with kids requires

people

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to become more patient in understanding their emotional needs to connect with them completely.

Therefore

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, interacting with kids can improve our patience in many life fields and our emotional intelligence simultaneously.

However

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, there are several reasons why reading can not be replaced by spending an enjoyable time with a child. Reading helps

people

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expand the useful knowledge applied in real life.

For example

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, a survey conducted at FPT University revealed that 60% of students prioritise reading at home, believing it to be more beneficial than engaging in outdoor activities with others , especially with their siblings.

Furthermore

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, in today's technologically driven world, distractions are prevalent. Consistent reading can significantly enhance an individual's ability to focus during learning and working. In conclusion,I partly agree that joining in active play with children helps

people

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in some fields,

however

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, maintaining reading regularly is still essential in developing valuable and transferable skills.

Therefore

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, let's study and obtain much knowledge to become an individual's benefit for society.

Submitted by midden-02.tore on Thu Jan 23 2025

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task achievement

Include more specific examples and evidence to support your main points, particularly regarding how playing with children develops skills and creativity.

task achievement

Clarify some sentences to ensure your ideas are as clear and comprehensive as possible.

coherence cohesion

Try to make the paragraphs slightly more coherent by using more linking words or phrases to ensure a smooth flow of ideas.

coherence cohesion

The essay presents a clear introduction and conclusion.

task achievement

The main points are relevant to the task and are quite well-developed.

coherence cohesion

The essay is logically structured, and ideas are generally well-organized.

8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

263 words

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Doing an enjoyable activity with a child can develop better skills and more creativity than reading. To what extent do you agree? Use reasons and specific examples to explain your answer. IELTS Essay Sample Answer (1) nhi

Computers are often argued to be the most important invention of the last hundred years. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Nowadays, more and more older people who need employment compete with the younger people for the same job. What problem this causes? What are solution?

Many people think that money is important to achieve happiness. What is the importance of money to happiness? Give reasons for your answer and include examples from your experience.

Many students choose to study at colleges and universities that are far away from the places where they grew up. Do the benefits of this outweigh the drawbacks?

Unpaid work More and more young people from wealthy countries are spending a short time doing unpaid work such as teaching or building houses for communities in poorer countries. Why do young people choose to do so? Who will benefit more: young people or the communities?