Car ownership has increased so rapidly over the past thirty years that many cities in the world are now ‘one big traffic jam’. How true do you think this statement is? What measures can governments take to discourage people from using their cars?

The rapidly rising numbers of car owners over the past three decades have turned cities all around the globe into
one
big
traffic
jam. I personally think that
this
statement is true
due to
the fact that with the increasing number of
people
who own a car, more cars will be driven on the streets. To overcome
this
issue, the government should provide public transportation services for
people
to transfer from
one
place to another. The more owners of vehicles present, the more
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
will be used on the roads.
Nevertheless
, the large volume of cars at the moment has overfilled the local road capacity, resulting in a
traffic
jam.
Traffic
problems in renowned cities in Indonesia have been a significant issue addressed by the citizens.
For example
in Jakarta, driving to another place
one
kilometre far apart will consume hours of time. There were many cases where employees needed to start departing from home early in the morning just to
be arriving
Wrong verb form
arrive
show examples
on time at the office. As a solution, the authorities should provide more public transportation for
people
to commute inside the city. The trend for public transport itself has been gaining much attention from
people
because it allows them to travel faster without the interference of
traffic
jams.
As a result
, more users are expected to be involved
due to
the high anticipation and awareness available. Trains are
one
of the examples of a mode proven to be beneficial for the public to travel. Each year, demand for Jakarta-Bogor trains, which is the busiest line in the Indonesian railway system, rises because it helps workers avoid
traffic
jams. As a conclusion, the increase in car ownership may lead to massive
traffic
jams because more cars are filling the roads. As an alternative, the government can supply more mass transportation.
Submitted by muhammadraditya9 on

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coherence cohesion
Consider structuring your essay with clear paragraphs to enhance readability and logical flow. Ensure each paragraph addresses a specific point and begins with a clear topic sentence.
task achievement
Try to elaborate more on your solutions and provide specific details of how they can be implemented effectively. Providing examples is a great start.
coherence cohesion
Your essay includes a clear introduction and conclusion, effectively framing the discussion.
task achievement
The use of specific examples, such as the situation in Jakarta, adds relevance and depth to your argument.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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