IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

Nowadays children watch too much TV. Why is this happening, and what can be done to prevent it?

#children #tv
It has been recently noted that children are spending most of the
time
 through enjoying programs in
te
Suggestion
on
levision. Mai
n reasons ar
Suggestion
The main reasons
e less outdoor activities and poor socialization which for
ce th
Suggestion
forces
em to watch TV.
However
, including
such
 outdoor activities like cricket, badminton as well as organizing picnic and camps can help kids to reduce their interest towards the watching programs. Nowadays, everyone tries to stay in their house and because of that, children doe
s not get ch
Suggestion
do not get
a
nce to
Suggestion
a chance
the chance
 go outside and play with other friends.
This
 ultimately results in poor communication with oth
er gr
any of various alternatives; some other
another
oup and leads to poor socialization. For an instance, Country like Canada most of the children sta
ys in
Suggestion
stay
side the house because of wea
ther condition an
Suggestion
the weather condition
d it gives them less choice to do anything in the house.
Las
tly they en
Accept comma addition
Lastly, they
ded up their day by watching some comedy programs. Lack of different activities in various environments and lack of friendship are the responsible factors.
Although
, there are many solutions which can help to prevent excessive use of television by increasing outdoor activity classes in society as well as organizing a boot camp or family picnic. These can give toddler an opportunity to make some new friends.
Moreover
, certain outdoor activities can improve their physical well being which can make them more active. For an example, In India children spend most of the
time
 outside playing with their friends.
In addition
 to that, most of the school arranges pic
nic ev
Suggestion
a picnic
ery month which can help them to make new friends. To conclude, children can watch TV for limited
time
instead
 of who
le day. B
Suggestion
the whole day
a whole day
ut by reducing certain factors which are responsible to increase use of TV and at the same
time
 as a solution if people can take part for their children in local outdoor sports can help them in many ways.
Submitted by drkeyapatel1 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: