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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The world today is a safer place than it was a hundred years ago, and governments should stop spending large amounts of money on their armed forces. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#world #place #years #governments #amounts #money #forces
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Having a strong military force is essential to make our
world
Use synonyms
 safer in compare to others. People believe that
government
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 does not have to invest money towards the
army
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 because our
world
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 is becoming sa
fer place t
Suggestion
a safer place
han it was before the century.
This
Linking Words
 essay will argue that funds are needed to make our military more powerful and so that I am di
sagree w
Suggestion
disagreeing
ith the opinion. In the growing
world
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, we need to update more skills for soldiers and machines which came in
t
Suggestion
into
he
world
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 recently.
However
Linking Words
, hu
ndred years a
Suggestion
a hundred years
go, technology was not developed same like today. There were not pr
oper instrument a
Suggestion
a proper instrument
the proper instrument
vailable for the soldier in co
mpare t
Suggestion
comparing
o today. For an example,
Army
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 forces only had small bombs and guns before, but now there are many big machines, riffles are available and which has more capability to fight against enemies. All the new technology or machines needs funding from
government
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.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, many years ago threat from the other co
untires w
a politically organized body of people under a single government
countries
counties
as significantly less
likewise
Linking Words
 today. All the other countries are trying to invent new devices for their
army
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 so that with th
e less effort o
Suggestion
the least effort
f people, they can attack and most of the work can done by machines rather than putting more effort on the soldiers. For an example, using bi
g gun tanker c
Suggestion
a big gun tanker
big gun tankers
an cover most of the area which might not be able to cover from 150 soldiers. In re
sult o
Suggestion
the result
f
this
Linking Words
army
Use synonyms
 force can win the war without putting so much danger on their fo
rce.
the front of the human head from the forehead to the chin and ear to ear
face
In addition
Linking Words
 to that, new technologies are essential to protect our
world
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. According to me, I am
totally disagree w
Suggestion
totally disagree
ith the statement that
go
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vernment h
Suggestion
the government
as to stop investing money in
ar
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my b
Suggestion
the army
ecause everyday changes are coming in
t
Suggestion
into
he
world
Use synonyms
 and to keep
world
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 to be sa
fer place
Suggestion
the safer place government
government
Use synonyms
 has to fund for new devices.
Submitted by drkeyapatel1 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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