Some people think that parents should teach their children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the best place to learn this. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
Many assume that children should be educated by family to become good citizens
while
others opine that school is an ideal place to teach good manners. Linking Words
This
essay strongly believes that Linking Words
schools
are more accountable for helping their students well behave.
On the one hand, Use synonyms
schools
are a microcosmic picture of the whole society and Use synonyms
kids
currently spend most of their time there. Children are more susceptible to the behaviour of people around them, Use synonyms
thus
, educators and the school environment are more responsible for inculcating Linking Words
kids
' good qualities Use synonyms
such
as honesty, responsibility, or obedience. Linking Words
For instance
, a stable academic environment can allow children to enhance their creativity during extracurricular activities Linking Words
such
as sports and art events. Linking Words
Hence
, Linking Words
schools
have an undeniable role in educating adolescents valuable personalities to form good members of society.
Use synonyms
On the other hand
, family, especially parents have a close-knit bond with their Linking Words
kids
at their very first stages. A child tends to imitate what the dad or mom performs, Use synonyms
therefore
, not only do the Linking Words
schools
play a cardinal role in the nurturing process of a kid but Use synonyms
also
the families themselves. To illustrate, parents, who are pet lovers, are more likely to raise Linking Words
kids
with compassion and a tender heart.
Use synonyms
To sum up
, I admit that both factors help with forming a child’s manner; Linking Words
however
, the impact of educators and institutions seems to be more significant as Linking Words
kids
can have the chance to cope with more realistic cases in Use synonyms
this
minimized society to become a well-behaved person.Linking Words
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task achievement
Your essay address the task well, discussing both views and providing your opinion. However, some portions can benefit from clearer transitions between ideas to enhance the logical flow. Additionally, some of the ideas presented, especially those supporting schools' roles, could be expanded with more specific examples.
coherence cohesion
Focus on cohesiveness between paragraphs. Some ideas feel slightly disconnected. Ensure each paragraph smoothly transitions from one idea to the next, maintaining a coherent argument throughout the essay.
introduction conclusion present
You've done a commendable job of introducing and concluding your essay clearly, ensuring the reader grasps your main argument.
supported main points
The main points presented in each paragraph are relevant and align well with the topic, contributing to a structured discussion.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?