The growing number of overweight people is putting a strain on the health care system in an effort to deal with the health issues involved. Some people think that the best way to deal with this problem is to introduce more physical education lessons in the school curriculum. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Over the
last
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few years, the number of overweight people has increased substantially. There are some people who believe that the growth in the count of
such
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people is putting a pressure on the health care system and introduction of physical education in school syllabus can be implemented as a solution. I completely agree with
this
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statement and in
this
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essay, I will support my view with examples.
To begin
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with, by introducing physical education lessons in school curriculum, awareness about the importance of health would be imparted among students.
This
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can help them to deal with health-related diseases which can be encountered at later stages in
life
Use synonyms
.
For instance
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, children will not have to deal with problems caused by
obesity
Accept comma addition
obesity, such
such
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as diabetes, blood pressure, heart related issues etc.
As a result
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, if they are not familiar with
such
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issues, they may have to face bad consequences.
Furthermore
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, students would be motivated to do regular exercise and physical activities.
This
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would keep them energized and full of
life
Use synonyms
.
For example
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, if children would inculcate exercise in their daily routine and remain involved in playing outdoor games, it will help them to remain fit and actively involved in studies.
However
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, if they do not indulge in
such
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activities, it can make them lethargic and lazy. As a consequence, it can affect their day to day and academic
life
Use synonyms
. In conclusion, due to
detrimental effects
Suggestion
the detrimental effects
of excess weight, I believe it is very important to generate
realization
Suggestion
realizations
about the same at early stages of
life
Use synonyms
and provide guidance for the problems associated with it by making it as a part of
curriculum
Suggestion
the curriculum
.

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • obesity rates
  • health care system
  • physical education
  • instill
  • long term
  • raise awareness
  • healthier lifestyle choices
  • nutritional education
  • active transport
  • quality of instruction
  • facilities and equipment
  • diet control initiatives
  • community sports programs
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