Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others believe that it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.
It is claimed by some college students that they prefer to study additional
courses
apart from the core ones while
others disagree and think that they should dedicate their time
and effort to attend only the subjects in their major. In this
essay, I will agree with the government's statement and discuss reasons to support my perspectives.
It is undeniable that in order to achieve a degree qualification, core courses
should be mainly focused. The university not only already designed all the required branches of knowledge, but also
determined which ones should be studied each year throughout their university program. For instance
, the advanced courses
will require prerequisites due to
the need for fundamental understanding. Therefore
, if they did not spend all of their time
to complete and excel in these classes, it will
be a roadblock for them during their senior year.
Wrong verb form
would
However
, it is also
significant for the scholar to be able to choose electives per their own preferences. Since they all have different interests and future career paths, part of their studying time
should contain free elective subjects, which could be from within the same or distinct faculties. For example
, a person who took an engineering degree whose general studies only consist of physics and chemical-related material might also
have a passion for the business world as they would like to understand the big picture of the industry. It would be beneficial to them if they could have spare time
from their main studies and be able to attend business lectures as an optional choice.
In conclusion, all learners should prioritise and focus on the major classes in each degree, yet they do have different secondary passions, professions and career maps.Therefore
, I believe that it is vital for them to have the right to choose to attend additional courses
.Submitted by mean2542 on
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task achievement
You have clearly addressed both views of the argument and provided a balanced discussion, which is good for task achievement. However, the statement 'I will agree with the government's statement' is confusing as there is no mention of a 'government statement' in the prompt. It might be a typographical error, or you meant to say something else. Ensure clarity in your introduction to avoid confusing the reader.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a logical structure with clear paragraphs for introduction, body, and conclusion. Each paragraph has a clear main idea. However, the transition between some sentences could be smoother. Use more linking words and phrases such as 'moreover,' 'consequently,' and 'as a result' to improve the flow.
task achievement
Your examples are relevant but could be more specific to strengthen your arguments. For instance, mentioning specific business courses that an engineering student might find beneficial would make your point stronger.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear and logical structure which makes it easy to follow.
task achievement
You provided balanced views and supported your opinion well in the conclusion.
task achievement
The language used is appropriate and formal, which suits the context of an IELTS essay.