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Band 6.5

With growing population in cities, more and more people live in a home with small or no outdoor areas. Is it a positive or negative development?

#population #cities #people #home #areas #development
It is true that an increasing number of people have to live in houses or flats which are cramped or there is no outdoor area. While
this
 trend could be positive to some extent, I would argue that its negative side is greater. On the one hand, a small space offers people a frugal and simple lifestyle.
First
, since smaller houses or flats are cheaper to rent or buy, many urban dwellers opt to live in them as the best available option. These kinds of
accommodation especially
Accept comma addition
accommodation, especially
 suit many young people who are studying or just have a job as they are living on a budget.
Second
, homeowners of small houses could be able to spend less time on cleaning up their home.
This
 becomes increasingly important in the fast pace of life in which many people so catch up in the pressure of work, and need more leisure time to recharge their batteries.
On the other hand
, I believe that
this
 housing trend has a significant negative impact. One consideration is that the limitation of open spaces for physical activities discourages citizens to do workouts.
This
 sedentary lifestyle makes people more prone to the risk of developing some forms of diseases
such
 as obesity and diabetes.
In addition
, lack of spaces leads to lack of privacy which might result in interest conflicts between family members.
For instance
, children might find it really difficult to find a
quiet private
Accept comma addition
quiet, private
 place to concentrate on their homework while their parents are watching television. In conclusion, while small living spaces bring about several benefits, I believe that the drawbacks of
this
 tendency are much greater.
Submitted by 02seongah on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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