Some people think that people commit crime because of poverty and social problems, while others think it is because of their bad nature. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

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There is no denying
fact
Correct article usage
the fact
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that the main reason for individuals committing
crimes
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is debatable.
While
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there is a commonly held belief that
this
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action is
due to
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poverty and social problems, there is
also
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an argument that opposes that idea, considering their action is out of their bad personality.
However
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, in
this
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essay, I will discuss both views. To start with, some
people
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believe that there is a strong link between poor communities and the increased level of
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crimes
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crime
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. Because
people
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with low income, who can't afford a convenient life for their kids will choose the crime path as a way to get the money they need.
Besides
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, social problems,
for example
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, struggles and difficulties in finding or keeping a decent job, or the impact of bully and racism may lead these victims to commit
crimes
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they didn't imagine they would be able to do in their lives.
On the other hand
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, many assume that murderers and thieves are already bad guys doing their
action
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actions
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according to
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their corrupted inner nature.
However
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, these
people
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are considered unchangeable,
hence
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putting them in jail will not change their inner intentions in the future to stop them from committing more
crimes
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.
For instance
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, some rich
people
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also
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commit
crimes
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despite having good conditions and being financially stable, just because they are bad and cruel. In conclusion, despite
people
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having various views regarding
this
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topic, in my opinion, I think that bad circumstances, life pressure and struggles are the main reasons that push individuals into doing illegal activities like killing, stealing and other violations and not their inner self.
Submitted by ruaa.fatoohi on

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task achievement
It would be beneficial to include more specific examples or evidence to support your points. This could strengthen your arguments and make your essay more convincing.
coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph flows smoothly to the next with appropriate linking words or phrases. This will enhance the logical progression of your writing.
coherence cohesion
The essay provides a clear introduction and conclusion, effectively framing the discussion.
task achievement
You have successfully presented both views of the argument in a balanced way.

Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

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