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Writing Samples
Band 7

The graph below shows radio and television audiences throughout the day in 1992. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The graph below shows radio and television audiences throughout the day in 1992. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#radio #television #audiences #summarise #information #features #comparisons
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The graph gives information about the proportion of British
people
 who used television and radio in 1992. In general, a closer look at the graph highlights the fact that
people
 had a tendency of watching TV and hearing
radio
Correct article usage
the radio
show examples
 at about 7
p
.
m
 and 9 a.
m
 respectively and
people
 were more active in the afternoon and evening when compared to the statistic in the morning. What is more, the percentage of
people
 watching TV before noon fluctuated sharply.
However
, from 2
p.
Correct your spelling
p.m.
m
, at about 18%, television audiences increased continuously before reaching
its
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
 peak at 7
p
.
m
. Since
then
, the figure
remain
Change the verb form
remains
show examples
 steady at approximately 46% until 10
p
.
m
 before seeing a sharp decrease.
Additionally
, the majority of
people
, which was about 28%, listened to the radio at 9 a.
m
 in the morning.
Nevertheless
, when comparing to the number of
people
 watching TV,
this
 figure showed an opposite trend because it decreased steadily over the day.
Nevertheless
, the only exception was the fluctuation at about 4
p
.
m
 and 11
p
.
m
.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "nevertheless".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words people, p, m with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "decrease" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 5 times.
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