O. Being a celebrity, such as a famous film star or sports personality, brings problems as well as benefits. Do you think that being a celebrity brings more benefits or more problems?
Being a celebrity brings more
problems
such
as losing his or her own identity and less free time
in pursuing the reputation via mass media rather than some benefits
: luxurious lifestyles, encouragements from fans, because such
benefits
are not stable, and these are the products of risking one
’s privacy.
On the one
hand, there are some benefits
in being as a celebrity if he or she is famous and popular enough. He or she can experience a luxurious life with a lot of compliments from fans just like a king or queen in a country, wearing gorgeous clothes, eating pricy foods in the TV shows and making a lot of money from exposing oneself to the public. For instance
, almost all the celebrities around the world do live in huge houses with safety services in the richest area and share their fancy lifestyles on SNS, and this
is adored by some normal citizens. However
, such
experiences can only be gained by the huge sacrifice of one
’s privacy, and not always last
for a long time
.
One
the other hand, by sacrificing one
’s privacy, a celebrity must face with several problems
: a loss of one
’s own identity and less free time
. More one
is exposed to the public, there will be less chance or time
for the one
to concentrate on his or her genuine desire while
they are under the great pressure to keep popularity to live on, and this
usually develops mental problems
in most cases. For example
, amid the COVID-19, most of the concerts, parties, TV live shows have been cancelled, and many artists had to front to the income crisis and the great anxiety for the future, and this
has led to as many as four famous actresses’ and actors’ deaths in Japan.
In conclusion, while
there are some temporary benefits
for celebrities, such
as luxurious lifestyles and reputations from fans, there more problems
, and they are severe for anybody; a loss of identification, less free time
, and anxiety for the future.Submitted by kana_ayaki on
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task response
Consider elaborating further on how the problems and benefits impact celebrities. This could enhance your arguments and provide a clearer comparison.
coherence and cohesion
Work on smoother transitions between paragraphs and ideas. This will make the essay easier to follow and more cohesive.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea with strong supporting details to enhance the logical structure of your essay.
general
Try to proofread your essay to correct grammatical errors and improve sentence structure, which will help convey your ideas more clearly.
task response
You have provided a balanced view by discussing both the benefits and the problems of being a celebrity. This demonstrates an understanding of the topic.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion which adds to the overall structure.
task response
The use of examples, such as the living conditions of celebrities and the impact of COVID-19, helps to illustrate your points well.
Your opinion
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Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
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