O. Being a celebrity, such as a famous film star or sports personality, brings problems as well as benefits. Do you think that being a celebrity brings more benefits or more problems?

Being a celebrity brings more
problems
such
as losing his or her own identity and less free
time
in pursuing the reputation via mass media rather than some
benefits
: luxurious lifestyles, encouragements from fans, because
such
benefits
are not stable, and these are the products of risking
one
’s privacy. On the
one
hand, there are some
benefits
in being as a celebrity if he or she is famous and popular enough. He or she can experience a luxurious life with a lot of compliments from fans just like a king or queen in a country, wearing gorgeous clothes, eating pricy foods in the TV shows and making a lot of money from exposing oneself to the public.
For instance
, almost all the celebrities around the world do live in huge houses with safety services in the richest area and share their fancy lifestyles on SNS, and
this
is adored by some normal citizens.
However
,
such
experiences can only be gained by the huge sacrifice of
one
’s privacy, and not always
last
for a long
time
.
One
the other hand, by sacrificing
one
’s privacy, a celebrity must face with several
problems
: a loss of
one
’s own identity and less free
time
. More
one
is exposed to the public, there will be less chance or
time
for the
one
to concentrate on his or her genuine desire
while
they are under the great pressure to keep popularity to live on, and
this
usually develops mental
problems
in most cases.
For example
, amid the COVID-19, most of the concerts, parties, TV live shows have been cancelled, and many artists had to front to the income crisis and the great anxiety for the future, and
this
has led to as many as four famous actresses’ and actors’ deaths in Japan. In conclusion,
while
there are some temporary
benefits
for celebrities,
such
as luxurious lifestyles and reputations from fans, there more
problems
, and they are severe for anybody; a loss of identification, less free
time
, and anxiety for the future.
Submitted by kana_ayaki on

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task response
Consider elaborating further on how the problems and benefits impact celebrities. This could enhance your arguments and provide a clearer comparison.
coherence and cohesion
Work on smoother transitions between paragraphs and ideas. This will make the essay easier to follow and more cohesive.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea with strong supporting details to enhance the logical structure of your essay.
general
Try to proofread your essay to correct grammatical errors and improve sentence structure, which will help convey your ideas more clearly.
task response
You have provided a balanced view by discussing both the benefits and the problems of being a celebrity. This demonstrates an understanding of the topic.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion which adds to the overall structure.
task response
The use of examples, such as the living conditions of celebrities and the impact of COVID-19, helps to illustrate your points well.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Public scrutiny
  • Intrusive
  • Endorsements
  • Sponsorships
  • Financial security
  • High-profile collaborations
  • Social influence
  • Philanthropic efforts
  • Trust issues
  • Mental health challenges
  • Substance abuse
  • Pressures of celebrity
  • Expectations
  • Disconnect from reality
  • Normalcy
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