IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

These days, more and more people are going to other countries for significant periods of time, either to find a job or to study. There are clearly many benefits to doing this, but people who live abroad can also face some difficulties. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of living and working in a foreign country.

#people #countries #periods #time #job #study #face #difficulties #country
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Nowadays moving overseas to work or study is becoming increasingly popular. Many
people
 find it attractive
while
 others find it challenging. In
this
 essay, I will discuss both pros and cons of migrating to foreign countries. Let's begin by looking at the advantages of moving away. One of the main positives is that it broadens your horizons. What I mean by
that is
 you get a chance to meet
variety
Add an article
a variety
show examples
 of
people
 with different cultural backgrounds and learn to cope with foreign customs and foods.
This
 can make you rounded as a person.
Secondly
, shifting abroad can lead to
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
greater prospects and
better
Correct article usage
a better
show examples
 quality of life. Take Indians
for example
, they migrate to countries like Canada and
United
Correct article usage
the United
show examples
 States of America for higher chances of employment opportunities as they have very few options
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 growing financially and professionally in their own country.
Also
, thousands of
people
 from
UK
Correct article usage
the UK
show examples
 move to Spain and Australia as these countries have warmer
climate
Fix the agreement mistake
climates
show examples
 which helps them to
do
Verb problem
have
show examples
 a proper work-life balance. Turning to the other side of the argument, culture shock is a major problem. Many individuals who plan to live in different nations can experience difficulty
is
Correct your spelling
in
show examples
 adjusting
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
 a new environment, meeting new
people
 and speaking a new language can be very disturbing which can lead to home sickness and in many cases a sense of isolation. Another issue is that it can be troublesome to start a new life from scratch.
In other words
 when you go to a
complete
Change the adjective
completely
show examples
 new place you have to make new friends and
also
 establish
you
Change the pronoun
your
show examples
 place in the community which is very
time consuming
Add a hyphen
time-consuming
show examples
 and it can be extremely challenging
along with
language
Correct article usage
the language
show examples
 barrier to deal with. All things considered, starting a life in a
far off
Add a hyphen
far-off
show examples
 country is never easy but you may weigh up the pros of
better
Add an article
a better
show examples
 lifestyle,
Correct article usage
a broaden
show examples
broaden
Wrong verb form
broadened
show examples
 horizon,
employment
Correct word choice
and employment
show examples
opportunites
Correct your spelling
opportunities
 with the cons of cultural shock and
language
Correct article usage
the language
show examples
 barrier.
Personally
Add a comma
Personally,
show examples
 I believe the benefits outweigh the negatives.
Submitted by selinafds on

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Task Achievement
You should ensure that your introduction presents the topic and your point of view more clearly. A conclusion that summarizes the main points and restates your position is also necessary to achieve a higher score.
Task Achievement
Develop the main arguments with more relevant details and examples. Providing specific evidence will strengthen your argument and result in a higher band score.
Coherence & Cohesion
Organize your ideas more logically and make better use of cohesive devices. Clearer paragraphing and smoother transitions between points would improve readability.
Task Achievement and Coherence & Cohesion
Please pay attention to your concluding paragraph. It should provide a clear summary of your main points and a restatement of your position to satisfy the requirements for a higher band score.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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