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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The charts below give information on the ages of the populations of Yemen and Italy in 2000 and projections for 2050. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The charts below give information on the ages of the populations of Yemen and Italy in 2000 and projections for 2050. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The chart illustrates the
ages
Use synonyms
 of
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Add an article
the population
a population
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population
Fix the agreement mistake
populations
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 of
Yemen
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 and Italy in 2000
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 and projections for 2050. The age range
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 from 0-14
years
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, 15-59
years
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, and 60
years
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 old and more. First and foremost, In 2000,
Yemen
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 have more
population
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 in
ages
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 0-14
years
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 that has 50.1% than
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
Italy that only
has
Unnecessary verb
apply
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14.3%. Italy,
on the other hand
Linking Words
,
cope
Change the verb form
copes
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 a huge proportion at the
ages
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 of 15-59
years
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 with 61.6%
while
Linking Words
Yemen
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 only take 46.3% of the
population
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on
Change preposition
at
show examples
 these
ages
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.
However
Linking Words
, 24.1% of the
population
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 in Italy of 60
years
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 old and more are better compared
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
Yemen
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 that only has 3.6%. In the same way, there are
also
Linking Words
 projections made by these countries for 2050. As you can see,
ages
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 0-14 have
bigger
Correct article usage
a bigger
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 proportion with 37.0% in
Yemen
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,
in contrast
Linking Words
 to Italy
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 only have a prediction of 11.5%.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
Yemen
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 have
higher
Add an article
a higher
show examples
 prediction
on
Change preposition
for
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ages
Use synonyms
 15-59 with 57.3%
whereas
Linking Words
 Italy is 46.2%.
Finally
Linking Words
, Italy has
highest
Change the article
the highest
show examples
 prediction again in
ages
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 60 or more with 42.3% unlike in
Yemen
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 that only
increase
Wrong verb form
increased
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 a little to 5.7%.
Thus
Linking Words
, I conclude that there are more elders living in Italy compared
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
Yemen
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. Alternatively, there are more teenagers under 15
years
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 old are living in
Yemen
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.
Overall
Linking Words
, both countries are slightly equal
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
ages
Use synonyms
 15-59
years
Use synonyms
.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words ages, population, yemen, years with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "compared" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • population distribution
  • age group
  • population pyramid
  • projections
  • young population
  • aging population
  • demographic shift
  • increase in elderly population
  • proportion
  • percentage
  • population dynamics
  • top-heavy
  • balanced age distribution
  • healthcare needs
  • pension provision
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