IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

1. In some cultures old age is more valued, while in other cultures youth is more valued. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#cultures #age #youth
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People have different views about the significance of old people and young people. While some people disagree with the idea of giving the older generation a high priority, I believe that seniors should be the main focus of attention compared to the youth in
society
. There are two key reasons why the younger generation should be considered to be of
valued member
Suggestion
a valued member
 of
society
.
Firstly
, young people can work longer hours with sufficient productivity.
That is
 because young individuals possess a high metabolic rate so as to get their tasks done both efficiently and well.
Thus
, these hard jobs might not affect their work-life balance.
Secondly
, many young people take an active part in volunteer projects and
this
 can be beneficial for both the individuals and
society
 as a whole.
For instance
, those who work in
medical profession
Suggestion
the medical profession
a medical profession
 can participate actively in preventing the spread of disease in a particular area.
Nevertheless
, it seems to me that it is vital to attach great importance to the senior citizens of the country. The main reason for
this
 view is that older people act as role models for youth as they are a huge source of experience.
For example
, many grandparents might be in a position of responsibility for taking care of their grandchildren since the parents of children do not have sufficient time to care for their children.
Furthermore
, cultural values have been handed down for hundreds of years via the older population of the nation. More importantly, they convey the cultural norms that help to maintain the fabric of
society
. In conclusion,
although
 there is ample evidence to consider young people to be important residents of the country, I contend that the elderly have profound insights in terms of family and culture that ought to be valued.

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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