The working week should be shorter and workers should have a longer weekend. Do you agree or disagree? Give the reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

There is a public debate that the working hours for
workers
need to be reduced in order that
labours
Correct your spelling
labourers
show examples
would have a better relaxing
time
at weekends. From my perspective,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
completely agree that a couple more longer weekends would be highly beneficial. Admittedly, a shorter working week can easily enhance
productivity
.
This
is
due to
the fact that more than 40%
workers
Change preposition
of workers
show examples
are always exhausted because of the overload in one working shift. By increasing the day off, employees will have more
time
to complete their tasks, leading to
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
rose
Correct your spelling
rise
show examples
in
productivity
.
For instance
, in some countries of Northern Europe,
labours
Correct your spelling
labourers
show examples
only work for 4 days and they can spend the rest of their
time
for
Change preposition
with
show examples
their family. Yet, they are still one of the most remarkably economic countries in the world.
Besides
its benefits in
productivity
, extending the weekend would
also
have a great impact
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
environmental pollution.
While
a traditional five-day workweek can lead to
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
growth in carbon emissions, a longer weekend
time
will easily reduce commuting and
less
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
traffic congestion. An excellent example
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
this
is that some recent studies in Australia have shown that their
workers
's
capability
Fix the agreement mistake
capabilities
show examples
have increased
more
Change preposition
by more
show examples
than 27% since their government
have
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
proposed an accord about shortening the working hours. In conclusion,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
strongly believe that a shorter working week will definitely be highly advantageous. Enhanced
productivity
and reduced environmental harms are two compelling reasons to
consilodate
Correct your spelling
consolidate
this
opinion in the working market.
This
approach would
take
Verb problem
apply
show examples
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
sharply
increased
Wrong verb form
increase
show examples
not only
at
Change preposition
apply
show examples
economic stability but
also
work-life balance for
workers
.
Submitted by dohuyhoang on

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task achievement
Try to use formal writing style consistently. For example, using 'I' in lowercase can be corrected.
coherence cohesion
Include more varied connectors and transitions to enhance the flow between paragraphs and ideas.
coherence cohesion
The essay provides a clear introduction and conclusion, effectively addressing the prompt.
coherence cohesion
Main points are well-supported with relevant examples from different countries, enhancing the argument.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • productivity
  • burnout
  • motivation
  • mental well-being
  • work-life balance
  • job satisfaction
  • pollution levels
  • traffic congestion
  • consumer spending
  • economic implications
  • leisure and service sectors
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