The working week should be shorter and workers should have a longer weekend. Do you agree or disagree? Give the reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
There is a public debate that the working hours for
workers
need to be reduced in order that labours
would have a better relaxing Correct your spelling
labourers
time
at weekends. From my perspective, i
completely agree that a couple more longer weekends would be highly beneficial.
Admittedly, a shorter working week can easily enhance Change the capitalization
I
productivity
. This
is due to
the fact that more than 40% workers
are always exhausted because of the overload in one working shift. By increasing the day off, employees will have more Change preposition
of workers
time
to complete their tasks, leading to the
Correct article usage
a
rose
in Correct your spelling
rise
productivity
. For instance
, in some countries of Northern Europe, labours
only work for 4 days and they can spend the rest of their Correct your spelling
labourers
time
for
their family. Yet, they are still one of the most remarkably economic countries in the world.
Change preposition
with
Besides
its benefits in productivity
, extending the weekend would also
have a great impact to
environmental pollution. Change preposition
on
While
a traditional five-day workweek can lead to the
growth in carbon emissions, a longer weekend Correct article usage
a
time
will easily reduce commuting and less
traffic congestion. An excellent example Correct quantifier usage
apply
for
Change preposition
of
this
is that some recent studies in Australia have shown that their workers
's capability
have increased Fix the agreement mistake
capabilities
more
than 27% since their government Change preposition
by more
have
proposed an accord about shortening the working hours.
In conclusion, Unnecessary verb
apply
i
strongly believe that a shorter working week will definitely be highly advantageous. Enhanced Change the capitalization
I
productivity
and reduced environmental harms are two compelling reasons to consilodate
Correct your spelling
consolidate
this
opinion in the working market. This
approach would take
Verb problem
apply
a
sharply Correct article usage
apply
increased
not only Wrong verb form
increase
at
economic stability but Change preposition
apply
also
work-life balance for workers
.Submitted by dohuyhoang on
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task achievement
Try to use formal writing style consistently. For example, using 'I' in lowercase can be corrected.
coherence cohesion
Include more varied connectors and transitions to enhance the flow between paragraphs and ideas.
coherence cohesion
The essay provides a clear introduction and conclusion, effectively addressing the prompt.
coherence cohesion
Main points are well-supported with relevant examples from different countries, enhancing the argument.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite