Children are facing more pressures nowadays from academic, social and commercial perspectives. What are the causes of these pressures and what measures should be taken to reduce this?

#children #pressures #perspectives #measures

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It is argued that the amount of stress of academic, social and commercial that children have to suffer is increasing today. In my opinion, I believe that

this

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situation is caused by many reasons and I will suggest some reasonable solutions to solve

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issue. There are several reasons why children are experiencing the

pressure

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from a wide range of aspects.

Firstly

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, I assume that academic

pressure

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is the main one for children. Schools nowadays are competitive environment, students not only must face

pressure

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by teachers but

also

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by themselves.

For example

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, to promote the sense of learning of students, many teachers created a ranking system, they publicize the scores of students and arrange them from high to low respectively. And a student who gets a quite high score may be still felt stress because his or her score may lower than the peers.

As a result

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, an invisible

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always causes them learning like crazy.

Secondly

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, the social

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, especially from parents has strongly affected their spirit. Parents now often set an ideal model and hope their child to be like that.

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, they put high expectation for children and it inadvertently become the

pressure

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for their children.

Thirdly

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, commercial

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also

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is one of the factors raise stress for students. Children who are the most easily affected subjects love watching advertisements. So that commercial

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simply comes to children through marketing programs and advertisements which target them to some difficult standards.

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, these standards unconsciously discourage children from being themselves. I

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believe that there are some effective solutions for

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problem. The education system needs to be transformed. What students learned should be put on the top

instead

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of scores. Simultaneously, parents need to lower their expectations and develop children true potential, they have to know that studying is not all about the success of their children in the future.

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, the authorities should limit the advertisements aiming at children and harder check the content of them before publishing. In conclusion, there are a great amount number of reasons which causing the

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for children, but it still can be solved. I hope governments and

sociality

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will seriously pay more attention in

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matter in the future.

Submitted by niral.vaghasia89 on Mon Feb 03 2020

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Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

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for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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11
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

370 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

academic pressure
globalized world
competitive education system
social media influences
cyberbullying
commercial pressures
aggressive marketing
materialistic desires
peer pressure
high expectations
standardized testing
quantifiable performance
stress and anxiety
extracurricular achievements

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Children are facing more pressures nowadays from academic, social and commercial perspectives. What are the causes of these pressures and what measures should be taken to reduce this?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

In many countries around the world , rural people are moving to cities ,so the population in the country side is decreasing Do you think it is a positive or a negative development

The number of plants and animals is declining. Describe the reason and suggest some solution.

Some people prefer to spend their lives doing the same things and avoiding change. Others, however, think that change is always a good thing. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.