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Writing Samples
Band 4

Many children these days have an unhealthy lifestyle.both school and parents are equally responsible for solving this problem.

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Today is a modern world there are high standards of living due to these standards children are looking
distrub
move deeply
disturb
 and unhealthy.
Majority
Suggestion
The majority
 of children are spending their time by sitting in front of electronic devices I.
e
Suggestion
E
 computer
,
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,
cellphone
Suggestion
cell phone
,
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,
tablets.These habits
causes
Suggestion
cause
 health problems. Both parents and school should take their responsibilities equally to
slove
find the solution to (a problem or question) or understand the meaning of
solve
 these issues. I disagree with
this
Linking Words
 statement to some extent that parents should more responsible than
school but
Accept comma addition
school, but
school
Suggestion
schools
the school
should
Suggestion
should also play
also
Linking Words
 plays their role effectively
.
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.
 Nowadays
,
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,
parents are not looking like human they consider as a working machine
.
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.
They have no time for their
children
Suggestion
children's
 activities and unable guide and counsel them from what is good or bad
.
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.
it’s
Suggestion
It’s
 true because they have to work day to night to
fulfill
put in effect
fulfil
 their needs and to meet the standards of living. Because of extensive working they are feeling exhausted and temper and sometimes quarrelsome these act transfers to offsprings from parents
.
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.
so
to a very great extent or degree
So
 they have to give them proper time
,
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,
parental care and advised them and involve in their physical activities.By
this
Linking Words
 they
plays
Suggestion
play
 a better role in improving their
children
Suggestion
child's
 life style
.
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.
 Schools are the place where children
goes
Suggestion
go
 to learn knowledge
,
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,
life skills
,
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,
how to build their character?
morals But
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Morals, But
Morals But
 in
majority
Suggestion
the majority
a majority
 of schools they focus on cramming books and notes
.
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.
This
Linking Words
 act kills the
children
Suggestion
child's
children's
 creativity
.
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.
 Schools should focus on co-curricular activities which enhances and nourish their abilities and makes them mentally and physically fit. By concluding my
discussion I
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discussion, I
 come to end both responsible in solving issues regarding children unhealthy lifestyle.But it’s more on parents to take their responsibilities strongly if both cooperate
to
Suggestion
with
 each other there will
b
have the quality of being; (copula, used with an adjective or a predicate noun)
be
improvement
Suggestion
an improvement

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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