IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people believe that capital punishment should never be used. Others, however, argue that it should be allowed for the most serious crimes.

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Although
Linking Words
 some individuals are of the thought that the
death
Use synonyms
 penalty should never be imposed, other people think that it should be used on the most grievous
criminals
Use synonyms
.
While
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 sentencing most serious offenders to capital
punishment
Use synonyms
 is an easy and quick solution, I believe that all human beings have a right to live and so should never be allowed
however
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 major the crime is. On the one hand,
punishment
Use synonyms
 as
death
Use synonyms
 sentences for serious crimes provides a short-term solution. By announcing these kinds of
punishment
Use synonyms
, the government officials can take them off streets and deter
happening
Verb problem
the occurrence
show examples
 of crimes including smuggling, premeditated murders, patricide, human trafficking, and smuggling.
Thus
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 resulting in a decline
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 serial
criminals
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 and
repeated
Wrong verb form
repeat
show examples
 offenders in society. In Singapore,
for example
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, when capital
punishment
Use synonyms
 was imposed on smugglers and drug traffickers there was a tenfold decrease in
such
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offenses
Change the spelling
offences
show examples
.
However
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, I believe that these sentences are unjust because we are infringing on someone’s right to live.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, capital
punishment
Use synonyms
 should not be sentenced irrespective of the severity of the crime for it is inhumane to do so. To live is a birthright of every human being and executing or hanging a criminal is being cruel
with
Change preposition
to
show examples
 him. If they are
criminals
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, the law-givers cannot do the same and eventually become a criminal in the name of justice.
For example
Linking Words
, a questionnaire conducted by one of the press reporters
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 South India revealed that 60% of people replied, ”
Use synonyms
criminals
Capitalize word
Criminals
show examples
 should never be hanged till
death
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, how can the court be so harsh!”. I believe that no one including the jury has the right to be so cruel that
criminals
Use synonyms
 are executed. In conclusion, some would say that for very serious
criminals
Use synonyms
, the sentence of
death
Use synonyms
 is just for it is a viable solution. I believe
this
Linking Words
 kind of
punishment
Use synonyms
 is against humanity and should never be used whether the crime is major or minor.

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Task Response
Task Response: Clear and comprehensive ideas but lacks a clear position on the issue. Make sure to clearly state your opinion and provide a clear rationale for your position.
Coherence and Cohesion
Coherence and Cohesion: The logical structure is partially maintained, but the introduction and conclusion need improvement. Ensure that the introduction clearly presents the topic and the conclusion summarizes the main points and restates the opinion.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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