Air travel can only benefit the richest people in the world. Ordinary people have little to gain from the development of air travel. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Securing a reputable
job
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is a top priority for many individuals.
While
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some believe that completing a
university
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degree is the key to landing a good position, others argue that entering the
job
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market straight after school may be more effective. In my opinion,
although
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practical
experience
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is valuable, graduate studies are essential for building a strong and sustainable career. Supporters of joining the workforce immediately after school argue that real-world
experience
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enhances the practical skills needed for employment. Working in a real environment exposes individuals to challenges that are not typically covered in academic courses.
For instance
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,
while
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a project management diploma may teach students theoretical frameworks and goal-setting, it often lacks hands-on training in problem-solving
Punctuation problem
,
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an essential skill in most workplaces.
This
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real-world competency can make candidates more attractive to employers.
However
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,
such
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experience
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can
also
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be gained through internships offered during
university
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studies.
On the other hand
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, many believe that a well-designed
university
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course is a key factor in securing a desirable
job
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. Employers often
prioritize
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prioritise
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candidates with higher qualifications because of their deep subject knowledge and academic training.
For example
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, an agricultural engineer who has studied soil and crop compatibility at
university
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is likely to make more informed decisions than even a highly experienced farmer.
This
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expertise can help save both effort and resources.
Therefore
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, I strongly believe that having a solid academic foundation is critical for long-term professional success. In conclusion, obtaining a good
job
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is vital for long-term stability.
While
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hands-on
experience
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gained after school can improve one’s chances, completing a
university
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degree plays a more crucial role in building a successful and lasting career.
Therefore
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, it is my firm belief that individuals should
prioritize
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prioritise
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academic education to secure a suitable
job
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in the future.

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coherence and cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph focuses more clearly on one main idea, making it easier for the reader to follow.
task achievement
Include more specific examples or details to support your points. This will make your arguments stronger.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, providing a good summary of your ideas.
task achievement
You expressed your opinion clearly, showing a strong belief in the importance of university education.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Affordable travel
  • Accessibility
  • Leisure travel
  • Business travel
  • Economic benefits
  • Job creation
  • Tourism
  • Global connectivity
  • Cultural exchange
  • Social ties
  • Natural disasters
  • Medical emergencies
  • Innovation
  • Competitive pricing
  • Airline industry
  • Enhanced local economies
  • Cultural understanding
  • Timely aid
  • Emergency response
  • Aviation sector
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