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Writing Samples
Band 6

In many countries, imprisonment is the most common solution to crimes. However, some people believe that better education will be a more effective solution. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#countries #imprisonment #crimes #people #education
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In various nations, prison sentence is a common punishment for offenders. While some hold the view that training is more beneficial than custody, the other
disagree
Suggestion
disagrees
. In my idea, education has more benefit rather than other retributions. I will state the reasons for my view in
this
Linking Words
 essay. The most compelling reason for holding to my view is that
prison sentence
Suggestion
a prison sentence
the prison sentence
 is useless to prevent criminals from reoffending.
Firstly
Linking Words
, no practical change would happen in their life as a prisoner. As committing crimes is a consequence of how people think and their mindset is, deep and real changes should be created in their thoughts to turn over a new leaf. It would not be achieved unless appropriate and adequate training schemes are considered. It can be really helpful for those who are enticed by others to become an offender.
Moreover
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, committing crimes is not only because of lack of education, but
also
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 because of being jobless that may lead people to some offences: smuggling, mugging and theft to earn money. If people learn a skill, their chance for finding a job will be increased. So, teaching a skill can make offenders to find a job and possibility of
reoffending
offending against or breaking a law or rule
offending
 would be lessened in
this
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 situation. Another reason for my position is that being in a jail has some drawbacks as well as physical and mental hurts and should be altered by another punishment
such
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 as education. Despite all protecting measures, many diseases and injuries can be observed in jails. Sometimes, health condition is not acceptable in prisons. Nor can a wide variety of viruses and bacteria exist there.
In addition
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, it is common in jails that criminals fall out with each other. So, some of them will be hurt.
On the other hand
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, becoming homesick, depressed and disappointed is one of the hazards that can threaten prisoners mentally. In conclusion, prison sentence has some demerits that are really significant.
However
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, many advantages can be achieved by training criminals.
Submitted by zigorat.afshin on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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