The number of people being sent to prison is increasing year by year. While some people believe prison is the best way to tackle crime, others suggest that community service is more successful.” Discuss both views.
In contemporary society, there is a raising of individuals who take part in
criminial
activities annually. In Correct your spelling
criminal
this
problem, some argue that the policy of prison
plays a vital role in addressing crime, while
others contend that the standard of life
for the inhabitants is better.
To begin
with, the regulation about being offenders to be
in Verb problem
apply
prison
will lay the foundation for a sustainable community. Firstly
, this
policy play
a punishment to chastise people who break the Verb problem
is
law
. It is clear that
the
Correct article usage
apply
life
behin
bars will help them realise Correct your spelling
behind
their
serious consequences and Change the word
the
promote
forward Verb problem
move
to
Change preposition
in
positive
direction. One more reason is that receiving Add an article
a positive
the positive
prison
sentences for people who commit crimes is more effective to express
the power of Change preposition
in expressing
political
system. It is evident that policymakers can impose more severe punishments Add an article
the political
on
their illegal activities. Change preposition
for
For instance
, with serious crimes like murder, they will put into practice the dealth
penalty for criminals.
On the flip side, Correct your spelling
death
the
education for Correct article usage
apply
prison
life
will facilitate offenders
Change noun form
offenders'
offender's
Fix the infinitive
to gravitate
gravitate
towards a proper direction. Wrong verb form
gravitating
Initially
, through many rehabiltation
programmes provide for Correct your spelling
rehabilitation
law breakers
have the opportunity to experience Correct your spelling
lawbreakers
the
healthy Correct article usage
a
life
. For example
, the
politicians offer education and vocational Correct article usage
apply
tranining
to help criminals spend their time Correct your spelling
training
for
activities Change preposition
on
such
as making handmade craft
, Fix the agreement mistake
crafts
cultivating
Correct word choice
and cultivating
vegetable
. Fix the agreement mistake
vegetables
Furthermore
, law breakers
have the chance to Correct your spelling
lawbreakers
joint
in classes about teaching moral values, Correct your spelling
join
human
Correct word choice
and human
right
. Fix the agreement mistake
rights
Consequently
, they instill
knowledge and build the habit of preventing Change the spelling
instil
with
Change preposition
apply
the
Correct article usage
a
live
of lawlessness.
In conclusion, the regulation about using Replace the word
life
prison
for criminals is the best method in
tackling incidents and developing the quality of Change preposition
for
community
. Add an article
the community
a community
This
indicates that the law
plays a crucial part in ensuring a healthy community.Submitted by quynhtranhbh on
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Make sure to discuss both views equally. It seems that you've focused more on the benefits of prison than on the potential of community service,
Try to use more specific examples to support your arguments. Specific examples can significantly enhance the persuasiveness of your essay.
Be consistent with the topic. The prompt asks for a discussion on prison vs. community service as a tactic for tackling crime, but your essay also touches on rehabilitation and education within prisons, which slightly deviates from the main discussion points.
Watch out for minor grammatical inaccuracies and spelling errors, as they can distract from your message. Consider reviewing your use of articles ('a,' 'the'), verb tenses, and plurals.
Try to provide a clearer distinction between the introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. While your structure is generally good, a clearer separation can help readers follow your argument more easily.
Structure
Your essay demonstrates a good level of logical structure and development throughout, which aids in the coherent presentation of your arguments.
Content
You've shown a good understanding of the topic and have presented comprehensive ideas on the subject.
Conclusion
Your conclusion succinctly summarises the argument and reinforces your stance, which is effective in concluding the discussion.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.
‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.
Examples:
I really want to study but I’m too tired.
I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.
If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.