IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

In the modern world, people are no longer necessary to use food from animals or product from animals such as medicine and clothing. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

These days, it is unnecessary for humans to consume animal-based
food
Use synonyms
 and items. I completely agree with
this
Linking Words
 view, even though many people believe that human independence
on
Change preposition
from
show examples
animals
Use synonyms
 is impossible. There are numerous alternatives to
animals
Use synonyms
 in the
food
Use synonyms
 industry. With the abundant availability of
food
Use synonyms
such
Linking Words
 as grains and pulses, it is easy to get all the nutrients needed, which is rich in fibre, helping prevent cancer of the colon. Scientists have successfully invented alternative foods
taste
Correct pronoun usage
that taste
show examples
 like meat, but are made of soybeans. Citizens eating these fake meat dishes can remain vegetarian and still get the nutrients they need. Many studies show that a plant-based diet not only provides sufficient nutrients for our body to function normally, but
also
Linking Words
 helps us prevent various potential health issues
such
Linking Words
 as diabetes, high blood pressure or heart attacks. In terms of clothing, humans do not need to sacrifice
animals
Use synonyms
'
life, for producing
Wrong verb form
lives to produce
show examples
 jackets or jeans. Today, artificial fur and high-quality
synthesized
Replace the word
synthetic
show examples
 fabric are being used to replace fur and other body parts of
animals
Use synonyms
. Clothes made of these materials are warmer and softer than the natural materials and
waste
Verb problem
require
show examples
 less initial and maintenance
cost
Fix the agreement mistake
costs
show examples
.
Besides
Linking Words
,
+animal
Correct your spelling
animal
 testing has played an essential role in the medical field. In recent years,
however
Linking Words
, with the development of technology, we can alter animal experiments with sophisticated computer programs that could provide more accurate results.
For instance
Linking Words
, computer-based testing has been used to test the safety of new drugs or cancer treatments and has proved effective. It is,
therefore
Linking Words
, no longer necessary to use
animals
Use synonyms
 for new medicine testing or treatments. In conclusion, I firmly hold the view that in modern life
inhabitants
Punctuation problem
, inhabitants
show examples
 no longer need to use products from
animals
Use synonyms
,
such
Linking Words
 as
food
Use synonyms
, clothing items or even medicine.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task
Stick to one main idea in your answer and give it full set of detail. Start with a clear plan in your intro and end with a short conclusion that sums up your view.
coherence
Make each paragraph have one main idea. Use clear topic sentences. Use linking words to show you move from one idea to the next.
language
Keep to simple word and short sentences. Check for long or wrong phrase. Use plain form and fix small grammar mistakes.
content
Clear view is shown from the start.
structure
The essay uses a few good examples like plant foods and computer tests.
organization
There is a simple layout with three parts on food, clothes and medicine.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: