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The graph below shows the number of inquiries received by the Tourist Information Office in one city over a six month period in 2011

The graph below shows the number of inquiries received by the Tourist Information Office in one city over a six month period in 2011
#inquiries #tourist #information #office #city #six #month #period
This
 line chart depicts the received
number
 of
question
Fix the agreement mistake
questions
show examples
 through
period
Add an article
a period
the period
show examples
 of 6 months in 2011 by the
turist
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tourist
 information office only in one city. It
si
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is
show examples
 clear
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from
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form
Correct your spelling
from
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 the graph that the
number
 of received massage increased in general
According to
 what is shown,
in
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in-person
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person
 and by
telephone
 had almost
simillar
Correct your spelling
similar
pattern
Fix the agreement mistake
patterns
show examples
.In the first month in
person
was
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were
show examples
 420 enquiries and
increased
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this increased
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 by 600
at the end
 of Feb,
while
 by
telephone
 decreased to reach 800 beforehand 900.After
that
Add a comma
,that
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 both increased gradually until Mar.
T he
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The
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 real growth was
at the end
 of
last
Correct article usage
the last
show examples
 three
month
Fix the agreement mistake
months
show examples
 which
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
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rocketed up to reach 1600 and 1900 asking for
telephone
 and
in
Add a hyphen
in-person
show examples
person
 respectively. Meanwhile,the latter and email on
Correct article usage
the ther
show examples
ther
Correct your spelling
other
 hand had
completly
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completely
 different
pattern
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patterns
show examples
. the
number
 of
peoople
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people
 asking for information is 750 in Jan which after that dropped
by
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with
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minor
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a minor
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 change in Feb and Mar.the
number
 of enquires
sustained
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was sustained
show examples
by
Change preposition
at
show examples
same
Change the article
the same
show examples
 level in
last
Correct article usage
the last
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 two
month
Fix the agreement mistake
months
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 before that
threre
Correct your spelling
there
 was
gradual
Add an article
a gradual
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 decline from Mar to May.
to sum up
 we could say that the lowest information given to
turist
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tourist
 be
general
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generally
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 in letter and email compared to the huge
different
Replace the word
difference
show examples
by in
Change preposition
between
show examples
person
 and by
telephone
 which is 1200 enquires difference.
Submitted by s-88k on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "at the end, last".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words number, person, telephone with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "number of" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "information" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "reach" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "gradually" was used 2 times.
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