IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

“parents put a lot of pressure on their children to succeed. Can putting pressure on children be justified? Are there any alternatives? “

#“parents #pressure #children #alternatives
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Parents these days tend to stress their children constantly to make sure that they grow up to be successful. In my opinion, putting children under these stressful situations only brings more harm than good. Parents should always try different approach methods if the current
way
Use synonyms
 isn’t working.
Firstly
Linking Words
, children under constant
pressure
Use synonyms
 might
breakdown
Suggestion
break down
 and do not reach their full potential. I believe
this
Linking Words
 will become evident when the children start making mistakes on
simplest
Suggestion
the simplest
 of problems in daily task due to the
pressure
Use synonyms
. Failing to cope with
task
Suggestion
the task
 and external
pressure
Use synonyms
 from parents might put the
child
Use synonyms
 in depression.
This
Linking Words
way
Use synonyms
its
it is
it's
 only going to be harder for the
child
Use synonyms
 to absorb and learn new skills.
For example
Linking Words
, when the parents have high expectation of its
child
Use synonyms
 to score high marks for
certain subject
Suggestion
certain subjects
,
this
Linking Words
pressure
Use synonyms
 build up will overwhelm the
child
Use synonyms
 and he or she may start to
overthink
all things
everything
of
Suggestion
about
 the situation and may not perform well.
Therefore
Linking Words
, all these added pressures will hinder the
Use synonyms
child
Suggestion
child's
 progression.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, parents should understand that, there isn’t only one
way
Use synonyms
 in helping the children succeed in life. The early on the parents realize
this
Linking Words
, the better it is for the
child
Use synonyms
. They should take a step back and rethink their actions.
For example
Linking Words
, when the
child
Use synonyms
 doesn’t perform well in its studies, they shouldn’t scrutinize it,
instead
Linking Words
 they should look at the areas that the
child
Use synonyms
 is weak in and work together with him to improve it.
This
Linking Words
way
Use synonyms
, he will get the confidence that as
long he learns
Suggestion
long as he learns
 from his mistake it alright and
wont
will not
won't
went
 feel heat of the
pressure
Use synonyms
. One thing parent should keep in their mind that not everybody handles
pressure
Use synonyms
 the same
way
Use synonyms
. In conclusion, constant
pressure
Use synonyms
 on children by the parent will only provide more
hinderance
the power to withstand hardship or stress
endurance
 in children progression and development.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: