Some people believe that sport teaches children how to compete,while others believe that children learn teamwork To what extent do you agree or disagree

#people #sport #children #teamwork

Although some

Correct word choice

Some

show examples

people perceive that

sports

teaches

Change the verb form

teach

show examples

a child to compete,

while

others argue that

Correct pronoun usage

they

show examples

develops

Correct subject-verb agreement

develop

show examples

social

skills

such

as teamwork and friendships. I’m of the view that

sports

help to develop love and regard for each other and face challenges together. In my opinion,

sports

play a pivotal role in shaping a child's personality. It augments the

overall

personality of a kid by adding social and life

skills

Sports

for example

, football

develops

Correct subject-verb agreement

develop

show examples

a sense of appreciation because children share the same dressing room and field

while

playing.

In addition

to it, it not only develops

love

Add an article

a love

show examples

for

eachother

Correct your spelling

each other

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

but

also

respecting

Wrong verb form

respects

show examples

each other's opinions.

For instance

according to

a report published by BBC,children learn to love and respect during

sports

, which can not be inculcated through conventional education.

Hence

, it is important that young minds participate in various

sports

to enhance their potential

skills

. Despite the fact that

sports

have an integral role in building social

skills

, many people ignore that teamwork helps kids to accept failures and success with alacrity. Accepting failure develops

self evaluation

Add a hyphen

self-evaluation

show examples

, and makes youth strong enough to encounter other life challenges.

Moreover

, working together fosters resilience and perseverance, which, in turn, cultivates leadership personalities.

For example

according to

a famous basketball player, Micheal Jordan

sports

not

just

Rephrase

only

show examples

makes

Correct subject-verb agreement

make

show examples

you a better player, but

also

aids

Correct subject-verb agreement

aid

show examples

in becoming a role model.

Therefore

, apart from competing,

sports

endeavors

Change the spelling

endeavours

show examples

to grow and develop cooperation. In a nutshell, competing in

sports

should never be the mindset;

otherwise

, many integral values are compromised.

Therefore

, it is imperative that parents must advocate

children

Change preposition

for children

show examples

to participate in

sports

Lastly

sports

will encourage them to build robust

personality

Fix the agreement mistake

personalities

show examples

; alongside, lasting friendships.

Submitted by uroojzulqernain on Fri Aug 16 2024

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task achievement

The essay provides a balanced view, but try to dedicate more elaboration on both sides of the argument for a well-rounded discussion.

coherence cohesion

Focus on avoiding minor language errors such as missing articles and inconsistent spacing between words and punctuation.

coherence cohesion

The essay has a strong introduction and conclusion, successfully framing the main points.

task achievement

The main ideas are relevant and specific examples are provided to support the arguments.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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14Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
16Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

276 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

competition
teamwork
individual sports
team sports
perseverance
resilience
goals
support
responsibilities
social bonds
community
communicate
trust
group effort
balanced perspective
well-rounded skill set

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Some people believe that sport teaches children how to compete,while others believe that children learn teamwork To what extent do you agree or disagree

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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