Some people believe that sport teaches children how to compete,while others believe that children learn teamwork To what extent do you agree or disagree

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Although some
Correct word choice
Some
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people perceive that
sports
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teaches
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teach
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a child to compete,
while
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others argue that
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
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develops
Correct subject-verb agreement
develop
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social
skills
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such
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as teamwork and friendships. I’m of the view that
sports
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help to develop love and regard for each other and face challenges together. In my opinion,
sports
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play a pivotal role in shaping a child's personality. It augments the
overall
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personality of a kid by adding social and life
skills
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.
Sports
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,
for example
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, football
develops
Correct subject-verb agreement
develop
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a sense of appreciation because children share the same dressing room and field
while
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playing.
In addition
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to it, it not only develops
love
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a love
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for
eachother
Correct your spelling
each other
,
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apply
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but
also
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respecting
Wrong verb form
respects
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each other's opinions.
For instance
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,
according to
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a report published by BBC,children learn to love and respect during
sports
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, which can not be inculcated through conventional education.
Hence
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, it is important that young minds participate in various
sports
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to enhance their potential
skills
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. Despite the fact that
sports
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have an integral role in building social
skills
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, many people ignore that teamwork helps kids to accept failures and success with alacrity. Accepting failure develops
self evaluation
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self-evaluation
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, and makes youth strong enough to encounter other life challenges.
Moreover
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, working together fosters resilience and perseverance, which, in turn, cultivates leadership personalities.
For example
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,
according to
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a famous basketball player, Micheal Jordan
sports
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not
just
Rephrase
only
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makes
Correct subject-verb agreement
make
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you a better player, but
also
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aids
Correct subject-verb agreement
aid
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in becoming a role model.
Therefore
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, apart from competing,
sports
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endeavors
Change the spelling
endeavours
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to grow and develop cooperation. In a nutshell, competing in
sports
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should never be the mindset;
otherwise
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, many integral values are compromised.
Therefore
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, it is imperative that parents must advocate
children
Change preposition
for children
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to participate in
sports
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.
Lastly
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,
sports
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will encourage them to build robust
personality
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personalities
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; alongside, lasting friendships.
Submitted by uroojzulqernain on

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task achievement
The essay provides a balanced view, but try to dedicate more elaboration on both sides of the argument for a well-rounded discussion.
coherence cohesion
Focus on avoiding minor language errors such as missing articles and inconsistent spacing between words and punctuation.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a strong introduction and conclusion, successfully framing the main points.
task achievement
The main ideas are relevant and specific examples are provided to support the arguments.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • competition
  • teamwork
  • individual sports
  • team sports
  • perseverance
  • resilience
  • goals
  • support
  • responsibilities
  • social bonds
  • community
  • communicate
  • trust
  • group effort
  • balanced perspective
  • well-rounded skill set
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