IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

Some say that music, art and drama are as important as other school subjects, especially at the primary level. Do you agree or disagree?

#say #music #art #drama #school #subjects #level
Some argue that performing arts are as essential as other subjects and even more to primary school children.
This
 essay agrees with that statement and will
first
 discuss how taking part in
music
, art or drama is a means for a child to express themselves and
then
 talk about how it could help students explore unconventional career paths, followed by a reasoned conclusion. Art has long been a form of expression and has helped many young kids evolve. Most students, especially those in primary school are often very shy and find it difficult to open up to others. In
such
 circumstances, they look for a means to express themselves and seek a safe outlet to do so which they find in the performing arts.
For example
, a study by Queen's University found that 62% of students who participated in
music
, art and drama felt more confident and relaxed around people. Another reason why the arts are as crucial as mathematics and science is because it gives young children a chance to explore alternative career paths. Some students are extremely gifted in dancing and painting and developing these skills at a young age is necessary if they decide to pursue it professionally later on. To illustrate, Elton John and John Legend who are both very talented musicians, admitted that their love for the profession stemmed from
music
 classes in elementary school. In conclusion,
music
, art and drama are as pivotal as regular subjects because it assists children in overcoming their social fears and helps them realize their artistic dreams.
Submitted by zeba_spice on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • holistic development
  • fostering
  • emotional intelligence
  • problem-solving skills
  • cultural awareness
  • curriculum
  • engaging
  • memorable
  • nurture
  • talents
  • core subjects
  • academic
  • professional success
What to do next:
Look at other essays: