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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Many small local shops are closing as they are unable to compete with large supermarkets in the area, How does this affect local communities? how could this situation be improved?

#shops #supermarkets #area #affect #communities #situation
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It is true that the majority of mini grocery stores are shutting down eventually because of being lack of capability of surviving in the stiff competition of huge supermarkets in the same area. Through the problems that causes many drawbacks, there are ways to help improving
this
Linking Words
 situation. There are many downsides that people have to face due to
the close
Suggestion
the closure
 of local shops.
First
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 of all, it might cost them more money to pay for the goods
as
Suggestion
at
 local shops are more attractive
for
Suggestion
to
 customers in terms of pricing.
For example
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, a supermarket is much bigger than a local shop, so the owner needs money to pay for the electricity fee or transportation fee,
therefore
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, the price of each good they sell is much higher than a local shop sell.
Moreover
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, many local shops in the same area can be a positive thing for families. They do not have to move too far from their house in case of emergency as long as they have babies. So due to the shutter of convenient stores, people are getting more and more inconveniences who cannot travel long distance from their house.
As a result
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, there are measures for the government to step in and control the problems explained above. One effective method is funding from the owner for those investors to invest in their potential shops. Another way that the government can do is to subsidize for the local shops to purchase for the goods. That
help
Suggestion
helps
 many local shops withstand the competition with large supermarkets. In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
 the number of mini stores
are shutting
Suggestion
is shutting
 down due to the appearance of many large
supermarkets but
Accept comma addition
supermarkets, but
 with just various of measures from the government, that can help them as
also
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 for the benefits of the community and the nation as whole.
Submitted by hama0966077532 on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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