IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 8.5

Some of the methods used in advertising are unethical and unacceptable. To what extend do you agree or disagree with this statement.

It is always argued that whether it is acceptable to advertise in any way? In my opinion, some methods in the advertising are unethical and should be prevented. For the
first
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, misinformation in advertising deceives people and creates unreal needs for them. It raises demand for goods that are not really necessary in our life and lead to consumerism.
For instance
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, my sister has several kinds of cosmetic products,
such
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 as lots of creams and face washes, just because of their brands attractive advertisements.
Moreover
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, some advertising lie people just to occupy the market.
For example
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, DAFINEH is an oil brand in my country which is very smelly and has a bad taste but, it’s advertisement show people something delicious.
Furthermore
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, some advertisements abuse children. Kids like to play and spend their time with their peers. But, advertising system makes them work and play a role, just because of their financial profits. Unfortunately, their parent accepts
this
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 approach due to the aforementioned reason.
Also
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, exploitation of women is another unethical method of advertising.
For example
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, they show women who are washing the dishes or cooking, and create some wrong idea among people. They dissemination
this
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 thinking that women should work in the kitchen and make foods or do house chores.
Moreover
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, cosmetic surgeries advertisement lower people specially women’s confidence and encourage them to do surgery on their body to become beautiful like models. In conclusion, from my point of view,
although
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 advertising boost the markets, producers should not use any unethical way to introduce their harvests.

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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