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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The chart shows how frequently people in the USA ate fast food in restaurants between 2003 and 2013

The chart shows how frequently people in the USA ate fast food in restaurants between 2003 and 2013
#people #usa #food #restaurants
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The given graph shows the incidence of
Americans
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 who ate fast
food
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 in
Add an article
a restaurant
the restaurant
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restaurant
Fix the agreement mistake
restaurants
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 over a period of ten years from 2003 to 2013 As a general rule,it is quite obvious that almost half of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Americans
Use synonyms
 ate junk
food
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 in eateries either once a
week
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 or more than a few times a
week
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 between 2003 and 2013.It can be seen that in the later period of
time
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,time
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 more people choose not to eat fatty
food
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, any more. As the bar graph depicts ,almost
one
Add a hyphen
one-third
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third
Linking Words
 of the American population opted to eat fast
food
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 in
bistries
Correct your spelling
berries
batteries
 once a
week
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 in 2003 and the ratio increased by some percentage over
Linking Words
next
Correct article usage
the next
show examples
 three years before it dropped to just over 25
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percent
Change the spelling
per cent
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 in 2013.Almost the same proportion of
Americans
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 preferred fatty
food
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 once or twice a month and their ratio went higher over time. Again ,around 13 %
US
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of US
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 citizens ate at fast
food
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 shops and the ratio increased slightly over the
next
Linking Words
 seven years.Interestingly ,the people of America who had fast
food
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 meals on daily basis were less than 5
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percent
Change the spelling
per cent
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 and
this
Linking Words
 number decreased
further
Linking Words
 the rest of the decade.Folks who consumed junk
food
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 over a
week
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 were around 17
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percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 and it raised up to 20 % in 2006 before it halted to just over 15
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percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
.In the
end
Add a comma
,end
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 it can be seen that many
Americans
Use synonyms
 who used fast
food
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 frequently
had
Unnecessary verb
apply
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stopped doing so after a decade

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "next".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words americans, food, week, percent with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "ratio" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "just over" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Fast food consumption
  • Frequency
  • Dining trends
  • Demographic factors
  • Peak periods
  • Downward/upward trend
  • Lifestyle choices
  • Nutritional awareness
  • Economic impact
  • Health implications
  • Convenience foods
  • Eating habits
  • Statistical evidence
  • Year-over-year comparison
  • Fluctuation
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