Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Other believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification discuss both these views and give your own opinion

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Nowadays, whether
students
Use synonyms
acquire
further
Linking Words
fields
Use synonyms
apart from their core major is a matter of debate. Personally, I am convinced that achieving more knowledge in various
fields
Use synonyms
is of the essence. Some believe that learning additional majors is highly essential for university
students
Use synonyms
.
To begin
Linking Words
with, gaining
further
Linking Words
information about different
subjects
Use synonyms
can significantly broaden student’s minds.
This
Linking Words
not only paves the way for learning their main major but
also
Linking Words
extends their horizon in personal and occupational spheres of life. Because there is a great chance that these knowledges are not all parallel, but they may
do
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
partly overlap.
Moreover
Linking Words
, being aware of different
fields
Use synonyms
in addition
Linking Words
to a core major brings about higher job opportunities for
such
Linking Words
students
Use synonyms
.
For example
Linking Words
, if a student had been studying Spanish and French during his university course, he would have encountered more job opportunities right after graduation.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, some argue that
students
Use synonyms
have to only focus on the main major in the university. They claim that studying different
subjects
Use synonyms
would distract
students
Use synonyms
from their core
subjects
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
is because they lose track of
time
Use synonyms
on learning
Change preposition
to learn
show examples
other things rather than their own lessons.
That is
Linking Words
to say, the more they pursue other
fields
Use synonyms
, the less they concentrate on their main assignments.
For instance
Linking Words
, they may fail their exams
due to
Linking Words
squandering their precious
time
Use synonyms
on side items.
However
Linking Words
,
time
Use synonyms
management can considerably help them overcome
this
Linking Words
issue. By way of conclusion,
according to
Linking Words
the aforementioned ideas, I accept that the advantages of learning additional majors
outbalance
Verb problem
outweigh
show examples
the drawbacks.
Therefore
Linking Words
,
time
Use synonyms
management is one of the chief factors that bring
this
Linking Words
potential for
students
Use synonyms
to work on a couple of
subjects
Use synonyms
simultaneously without compromising their concentration.
Submitted by aradzandieh.dvm on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence and cohesion
Make sure to further clarify the introduction by restating both views briefly before you state your opinion. This will make your essay more coherent.
task achievement
Ensure that all examples used directly bolster the points being made. Adding a few more specific, relevant examples would enhance your arguments.
task achievement
Be careful with minor grammatical errors and awkward sentence structures, as they can slightly affect clarity. Proofreading your essay can help you catch these small mistakes.
task achievement
The essay discusses both views in a balanced manner and provides a clear opinion.
coherence and cohesion
The logical flow of arguments is quite strong, and paragraphs are well-connected.
coherence and cohesion
The language used is sophisticated and shows a good command of vocabulary.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Broaden
  • Perspectives
  • Specialize
  • Critical thinking
  • Problem-solving skills
  • Career success
  • Interdisciplinary connections
  • Structured path
  • Clear goals
  • Creativity
  • Innovation
  • Academic credibility
  • Recognition
  • Balance
  • Exploring
What to do next:
Look at other essays: