Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Other believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification discuss both these views and give your own opinion

Nowadays, whether
students
acquire
further
fields
apart from their core major is a matter of debate. Personally, I am convinced that achieving more knowledge in various
fields
is of the essence. Some believe that learning additional majors is highly essential for university
students
.
To begin
with, gaining
further
information about different
subjects
can significantly broaden student’s minds.
This
not only paves the way for learning their main major but
also
extends their horizon in personal and occupational spheres of life. Because there is a great chance that these knowledges are not all parallel, but they may
do
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
partly overlap.
Moreover
, being aware of different
fields
in addition
to a core major brings about higher job opportunities for
such
students
.
For example
, if a student had been studying Spanish and French during his university course, he would have encountered more job opportunities right after graduation.
On the other hand
, some argue that
students
have to only focus on the main major in the university. They claim that studying different
subjects
would distract
students
from their core
subjects
.
This
is because they lose track of
time
on learning
Change preposition
to learn
show examples
other things rather than their own lessons.
That is
to say, the more they pursue other
fields
, the less they concentrate on their main assignments.
For instance
, they may fail their exams
due to
squandering their precious
time
on side items.
However
,
time
management can considerably help them overcome
this
issue. By way of conclusion,
according to
the aforementioned ideas, I accept that the advantages of learning additional majors
outbalance
Verb problem
outweigh
show examples
the drawbacks.
Therefore
,
time
management is one of the chief factors that bring
this
potential for
students
to work on a couple of
subjects
simultaneously without compromising their concentration.
Submitted by aradzandieh.dvm on

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coherence and cohesion
Make sure to further clarify the introduction by restating both views briefly before you state your opinion. This will make your essay more coherent.
task achievement
Ensure that all examples used directly bolster the points being made. Adding a few more specific, relevant examples would enhance your arguments.
task achievement
Be careful with minor grammatical errors and awkward sentence structures, as they can slightly affect clarity. Proofreading your essay can help you catch these small mistakes.
task achievement
The essay discusses both views in a balanced manner and provides a clear opinion.
coherence and cohesion
The logical flow of arguments is quite strong, and paragraphs are well-connected.
coherence and cohesion
The language used is sophisticated and shows a good command of vocabulary.

You are not ready for IELTS Speaking, if you

  • Can’t speak smoothly without pauses.
  • Use simple words and lack vocabulary.
  • Feel nervous and anxious when speaking.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Broaden
  • Perspectives
  • Specialize
  • Critical thinking
  • Problem-solving skills
  • Career success
  • Interdisciplinary connections
  • Structured path
  • Clear goals
  • Creativity
  • Innovation
  • Academic credibility
  • Recognition
  • Balance
  • Exploring
What to do next:
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