IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

Companies should provide sports and social facilities for local community. To what extent do you agree this statement

#companies #sports #facilities #community
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Corporate firms should take part in a role for implementing sports and social facilities for the local community that leads to the welfare of our society. To a great extent, I agree with
this
Linking Words
 statement. In fact, many firms are already doing so, while they are following the concept of corporate social responsibility (CSR) now a days. It involves a company putting
in
Suggestion
on
fund
Suggestion
a fund
 and effort together to improve the lives of local societies.
However
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 kind of facilities
emerge
Suggestion
emerges
 through various initiatives
such
Linking Words
 as giving out merchandise, sponsorship and
freehealth
Suggestion
free health
 check up and
also
Linking Words
 scholarships too.
Linking Words
Therefore social
Accept comma addition
Therefore, social
 and sports events
also
Linking Words
 take part in it.
For instance
Linking Words
, Microsoft is known to fund the drive against Malaria in South Africa. It
help
Suggestion
helps
 the people to keep out
from
Suggestion
of
 trouble while they
also
Linking Words
 gain a reputation of being humanitarian towards the underprivileged sector. Other benefits that paves the way are engaging youth in sports and keep away from crimes. The United Nation
have often laid
Suggestion
has often laid
 emphasis on using sports as
means
Suggestion
a means
 to bring about change in society. Despite of
this
Linking Words
, To an extent the State government
Linking Words
also have
Suggestion
also has
 the responsibility for promoting human welfare and games related activities. To conclude, both companies and
bueraracy
nonelective government officials
bureaucracy
 have a role in encouraging and implementing sports and social activities among local communities for a development of our country.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: